Random Weirdo (she/her)
If you are an AFAB person in a relationship with kids, you know what mental load is (which isn't to say that other people can't know it).
Some years ago, I tried (more or less successfully) to explain to my husband how it affects me. We agreed then that he'd be responsible for children's clothes and shoes.
Now they usually have only few pants, shirts etc which leads to me having to do the laundry more often because "I don't have anything to wear".
1/2
Random Weirdo (she/her)
And it happens now and then that they need sth urgently and I have to buy it or they won't have it.
Yesterday, K1 (16) and K2 (14) asked me to buy new clothes. I said it was Dad's job. They said he always tried to push them to buy things the don't like and would rather do it with me.
So, I have to choose the lesser evil: not do it, have them complaining about it and resulting in me having to do more laundry, or tell my husband to do it and hope for the best, or just doing it.
2/3
Random Weirdo (she/her)
This is just one example. I could tell so many similar stories and you could add hundreds more.
What do you do to save energy when you're already low on spoons? Most often you will choose the "easiest" way and "just do it anyway".
Because you'll end up tired and frustrated, no matter which option you choose. But the "easy solution" is also the one that doesn't hold the other parent accountable and nothing changes.
3/3
GNU social JP is a social network, courtesy of GNU social JP管理人. It runs on GNU social, version 2.0.2-dev, available under the GNU Affero General Public License.
All GNU social JP content and data are available under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license.