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   yockeypuck (yockeypuck@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:14:42 JST yockeypuck
   Am I just a monster? It's been 4 years since I became a jew and I'm beginning to fear for my soul. The truth is I just don't like being around goyim for very long. Historically, this is not uncommon among jews, but today it feels almost illegal. It's causing me a lot of confusion and anguish.
   
   The ideal amount of time I would like to spend meddling with the goyim is probably about 70-140 minutes a week—roughly ten minutes each day, maybe 2x/day, taking breaks from work. My feelings of contempt toward them are perfectly strong, but if I have to gaslight them or swindle them for more than about 10 minutes my blood starts to boil. I just want to be working, or accomplishing something. I try to be a Pharisee, but it doesn't work.
   
   It's 9 AM this morning, Saturday, January 3. It's a sunny, warm day here in Austin, and 10,000 goyim are begging me to convince them to die for Israel. I was drinking coffee, still waking up, so I didn’t really feel like it, but in this era their desire to be subverted is insatiable. They begged and begged, so I conceded, and with a smile. I have no problem being a malicious and manipulative jew, the problem is only that I do not enjoy it. It's not that I'm trying to maximize my personal pleasure; it just seems wrong that I experience so little delight when my jew friends all claim to experience so much.
   
   It was beautiful. We live on a picturesque, tree-lined block. I am even relatively relaxed from the holiday rest. Gaslighting the goyim is supposed to be an iconic, peak experience. Yet for every single minute, on the inside, I just don't want to be there. I want to be drinking my coffee in peace. Then I feel guilty and absurdly ungrateful, and ashamed, when we're done. I know that when the normies get redpilled, I'll long to have these days back. I have all of this perspective rationally, and I've been very patient and steadfast trying to digest it, but nothing fixes me emotionally.
   
   Am I a terrible person? Or is my feeling within a certain range of historically normal and it's modern judaism norms that are off? Whether it's my fault or not, I don't even care, I just want to figure this out. Something is wrong and I no longer have the excuse of being new to this.
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     Bread up, Bro (sickburnbro@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:14:39 JST Bread up, Bro

     in reply to

     • Trevor Goodchild:verified::pondering_orb:
     • Mark
     • Dissident Soaps
     @TrevorGoodchild @dissidentsoaps @Mark @yockeypuck the way to look at this is: "what would I be doing instead? Watching a shitty tv show, scrolling twitter? This is a human that will hopefully care for me for 80 years. None of that will matter in 80 years"
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     Dissident Soaps (dissidentsoaps@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:14:40 JST Dissident Soaps

     in reply to

     • Mark
     @Mark @yockeypuck It's dopamine addict complaining. "I get so bored on the treadmill." "I hate raking leaves."
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     Trevor Goodchild:verified::pondering_orb: (trevorgoodchild@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:14:40 JST Trevor Goodchild:verified::pondering_orb:

     in reply to

     • Mark
     • Dissident Soaps
     @dissidentsoaps @Mark @yockeypuck Smallsouledbugman.txt
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     Mark (mark@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:14:41 JST Mark

     in reply to

     • Dissident Soaps
     @dissidentsoaps @yockeypuck That's a mix of FOMO and lack of wisdom.
     Those that talk about throwing ball with the kid as the pinnacle of fatherhood probably did it twice in a decade, weren't present much, and most likely didn't enjoy it when they were doing it. They just like remembering it.
     
     Most people don't like playing with toddlers and little children. They're slow, not smart, not patient, not interesting. No one likes reading the same book for the 27th time in a row.
     
     Do I like doing it, sacrificing a huge chunk of my day with that? Absolutely not, it's very boring and feels like a waste of my time because it's understimulating. But I'm wise enough to know that it's what I should be doing and that I should find contentment and satisfaction in doing the right thing.
     Don't make the mistake of overthinking it like a woman and feel "guilty" because you don't find it fun. No one does, not even the women that love toddlers.
     
     Taking care of little children isn't fun. People just remember it fondly.
     
     Pic related, they're engraved in my brain forever now.
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     Dissident Soaps (dissidentsoaps@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:14:42 JST Dissident Soaps

     in reply to
     @yockeypuck Context:
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     Bread up, Bro (sickburnbro@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:53:15 JST Bread up, Bro

     in reply to

     • Trevor Goodchild:verified::pondering_orb:
     • Mark
     • Largo
     • Dissident Soaps
     @Largo @TrevorGoodchild @dissidentsoaps @Mark @yockeypuck He's mildly self aware. Hopefully for the sake of his kid he figure it out.
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     Largo (largo@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 05-Jan-2026 10:53:16 JST Largo

     in reply to

     • Trevor Goodchild:verified::pondering_orb:
     • Bread up, Bro
     • Mark
     • Dissident Soaps
     @sickburnbro @TrevorGoodchild @dissidentsoaps @Mark @yockeypuck > "drinking my coffeeeeee!"
     
     Maybe someone should order that bugman a case of Black Rifle Coffee, it would suit a faggot like him.