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   Miakoda (hellomiakoda@pdx.social)'s status on Thursday, 20-Nov-2025 13:52:31 JST Miakoda

   So, in the big debacle with the substitute caregiver, I learned something today.
   If I manage to get out "I am struggling to communicate", repeatedly responding to that with "You're doing great!" while not doing anything at all to facilitate communication, or even just backing off for a moment, is an effective way to push me towards shutdown/meltdown.
   I think I now hate that phrase. Oh and for the record, No, I was not doing great.

   #ActuallyAutistic

   • Steve's Place repeated this.
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     Miakoda (hellomiakoda@pdx.social)'s status on Thursday, 20-Nov-2025 13:54:34 JST Miakoda

     in reply to

     Ah, GASLIGHTING! THAT's what that felt like! Yeah, I think that describes what I was experiencing.

   • Embed this notice
     Miakoda (hellomiakoda@pdx.social)'s status on Thursday, 20-Nov-2025 14:07:09 JST Miakoda

     in reply to

     #ActuallyAutistic

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     Miakoda (hellomiakoda@pdx.social)'s status on Thursday, 20-Nov-2025 14:18:55 JST Miakoda

     in reply to

     Yeah... if someone says they're struggling to communicate, insisting they're communicating fine is just plain dismissive and quite frankly ablist.

   • Embed this notice
     prunelier (prunelier@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 20-Nov-2025 22:55:38 JST prunelier

     in reply to

     @hellomiakoda thanks
     Do you have any tips to indicate easily to you interlocutor that it is inappropriate trying to communicate now ?
     Or to accept a degraded way of communication ?

     Otherwise, I can most of the time force myself to have a fluid communication. However I will suffer much afterwards.

   • Embed this notice
     Miakoda (hellomiakoda@pdx.social)'s status on Thursday, 20-Nov-2025 22:55:38 JST Miakoda

     in reply to

     • prunelier

     @prunelier She was not accepting anything I was able to communicate

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     Miakoda (hellomiakoda@pdx.social)'s status on Friday, 21-Nov-2025 07:31:10 JST Miakoda

     in reply to

     • Josh Rivers

     @joshrivers YES!! YES THIS!!! My whole life is full of it!!!

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     Josh Rivers (joshrivers@techhub.social)'s status on Friday, 21-Nov-2025 07:31:11 JST Josh Rivers

     in reply to

     @hellomiakoda The word I found that made sense was disaffirming. Denying someone’s truth with “encouragement” makes them feel angry, lied to, and alone. It sucks.