@sally GNU/God has a plan for you. I'm sure that with less than a thousand bucks, you can buy a KGPE-D16 with two 16-core Opteron 62XX CPUs and 256 GB of RAM, to which you can install GNU Boot.
@sally@freetar >these boards require some modding to fit standard CPU fan coolers into it Yes, they use the G34 socket, which is not common anymore, but certain models of coolers are not that hard to mod.
You pretty much need a CPU cooler with internal springs and screws that fit the holes (#6-32 machine screws) and that can be modded to work with a 104 mm spacing.
That was the plan, the problem however is that I recall reading somewhere these boards require some modding to fit standard CPU fan coolers into it and I don't see anyone addressing it and explaining how to deal with that, Suiseiseki probably dealt with it.
@sally@freetar 0. You want a quality 4-heatpipe cooler with built-in springs - the AG400 works, but the AK400 is nicer. 1. The A?400 happens to come with 4 #6-32 machine screws. 2. Mark and cut the brackets like so. 3. Result. 4. Drill holes along marking (worst drilling job he ever did, as he took a photo for this one, but it stills works). 5. Expand holes with more drilling or filing until you get something better than this (that bad still works fine). 6. Clean up with grinder and fit to cooler. 7. Installed (as you can see it blocks 1 PCIe slot, but that's the slot for the PCIe sound card and it's disabled if you use PCIe slot 4).
You can also use other coolers, but you'll also need 4 springs, screws that fit (that can also hold the springs) and external metal brackets to cut to size.