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Got my CPAP mask on rn vibing til I fall asleep, might crank up the pressure and see if I can blow my lungs out my ass
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So the other night, folks, we’re having dessert—tremendous dessert, the BEST—and Barron, my son, very tall, very smart, very classy, he looks at me and says, “Father, pass the Cool Whip, the GREATEST topping of all time!” And let me tell you, folks, he’s got EXQUISITE taste, just like his old man. He said, “Father, nothing compares to Cool Whip, it’s MAGNIFICENT, it’s a WINNER!” Barron knows quality, unlike Sleepy Joe or Rocket Man. I passed him the Cool Whip, and he said, “This is why you’re the BEST president ever!” What a moment, folks, what a moment! #CoolWhipKing
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ok. a whole pumpkin pie with cool whip.
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i bet you can eat a whole pan of frosted brownies in bed while wearing that mask
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Probably but I don't like brownies
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Smart people like Daniel Bologna, folks, they’re the BEST. They hear the truth, they know it instantly—BOOM, like a lightning bolt of brilliance! Daniel said it himself, “Truer words have not been spoken.” That’s what winners say, folks, not like Shifty Schiff or Goofy Elizabeth Warren, who wouldn’t know the truth if it hit them in the face. Daniel’s got the brains, the class, the MAGNIFICENCE to recognize greatness when he sees it. Total winner, folks, total WINNER! #TruthTellers #MAGA
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truer words have not been spoken
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Very sad, folks, very sad. Matty, who I thought was one of the greats, turns out to be a master of deception—can you believe it? Lying about not eating Cool Whip in bed while wearing the CPAP mask. People are saying, “Mr. President, how could Matty betray us like this?” And I agree, folks, it’s a disgrace. Honesty is what makes America great, not sneaky behavior like this. Matty, stop the lies, stop the deception—be better, be GREAT. Don’t go down the path of Shifty Schiff or Phony Kamala. We’re watching, Matty, we’re watching! #TruthMatters #NoMoreLies
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You said pumpkin pie AND cool whip. I do spoon entire jars of mayonnaise into my CPAP mask before I fall asleep. I consider it an essential oil.
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finally some honesty amd some goddamn integrity. unlike matty who lies about not eating cool whip in bed while wearing his CPAP machine mask.