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   silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 05:35:23 JST silverwizard

   The problem with parental controls, is that my kids are 3 and 5. I don't want them exposed to raw unfiltered internet. But I also know that they *will be*.

   This means that parental controls are a war I'm trying to figure out how to let my kids win in the most gentle way possible. I want them to win without feeling smarter and better than me, and like they're invincible. I want them to become aware of the fact that the internet is a complicated place, I don't want them to fear, but I also want them to respect. I dunno - parenting is hard.

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     Craig P (craigp@mastodon.social)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 05:50:40 JST Craig P

     in reply to

     @silverwizard I think we used to talk that way about the creek near town.

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     silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 05:52:37 JST silverwizard

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     • Craig P
     @Craigp Good - that's exactly the level of panic I want
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     chiasm (chiasm@mastodon.online)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 06:29:31 JST chiasm

     in reply to

     @silverwizard When I was little I knew there were books in the library I was not supposed to read, and as I got older I could venture into those areas, but my mom still kept an eye on what I was reading and would talk to me about it, exploring how various groups were presented, etc.

     Simpler days, eh? You can't know what all websites or whatever your kids lands on unless you've got a parental control in place, I would imagine.

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     silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 06:29:31 JST silverwizard

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     • chiasm
     @chiasm I damn well hope I can't know it all is part of it! I want them to know they have power!
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     Artur Wawrowski (artwaw@c.im)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 06:32:14 JST Artur Wawrowski

     in reply to

     @silverwizard when my son was younger (he is 12 now) we had regular conversations about why a movie or a network service will remain locked by the parental controls. With time, as he inevitable became exposed to more and more content above his age (some of that done by me, after assessing his emotional and mental capabilities) - games or movies most of the time - after another conversation I started lifting some aspects of controls above his age. And we continue the process.
     I think the point I am trying to convey is - be transparent about why some things are locked. Talk to your kids (when they're older) to know their experiences form elsewhere. Adjust settings. Support. I think I got it all quite well with my boy - not ideally but well. We still argue, he still tries to outsmart the system sometimes...

     Ah, one thing: Android and Google Apps - do not enable any google apps for your children as embedded webview does NOT fall under any parental controls. Finding out Youtube playing through google maps was quite interesting.
     Android parental controls are not effective at all, chrome and otherwise. It a steaming pile of horse shite.
     Apple does a bit better but requires some fidgeting to be set up properly. But does work, most of the time.
     For anything else, other devices, I have a per device ACL list on the firewall...

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     silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 06:34:46 JST silverwizard

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     • Artur Wawrowski

     @artwaw Yeah! This is the important bit! Emphasizing my role as protector and that I am protecting. And that they will grow into things! "You need to learn more" is such an important idea that's really hard for a 5 year old to accept.

     And generally - I think it's good for a kid to outsmart the system. Kids *need* to outsmart the system.

     My kids are running custom android tablets with an in-house fdroid store replacing the play store. For now.

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     silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 08:50:27 JST silverwizard

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     • Slash909uk
     @Slash909uk yeah! outdoors is a good analogy. Someone else suggested the metaphor of the creek nearby. Fun but needs respect and precautions.
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     Slash909uk (slash909uk@mastodon.me.uk)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 08:50:29 JST Slash909uk

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     @silverwizard sooo been there myself! My kids are now 12/13. We started slow, with unconnected devices (old phones) and a few games, kinda like just a different toy. As they go through school we try to draw analogies with familiar things.. Internet is kinda like 'outdoors'. Some areas are safe for you, some are not. Running around when you should be in bed is also not good. Trying to present family controls as helping, not a war you will lose...

     But. Yeah it's hard 🤪 good luck!

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     chiasm (chiasm@mastodon.online)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 09:28:36 JST chiasm

     in reply to

     @silverwizard yeah that's the tricky part, from what I understand! My mom always described it as working herself out of a job as our parent. 😉 I don't have kids myself but I can appreciate the challenges, a little bit. You'll do great! 👍

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     silverwizard (silverwizard@convenient.email)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Mar-2025 09:28:50 JST silverwizard

     in reply to

     • chiasm
     @chiasm yeah, training your replacement