I guess these people think the wife should've either been fine with it, or at least not feel like the foundations of her marriage have been seriously shaken.
Imagine if a gay man had got married, then came out to his wife, and when the wife had an emotional crisis over what is to become of her marriage, an outsider commented *"I can't stand when people make someone else's sexual orientation about them, they need to grow the fuck up".
The people behaving narcissistically are the Reddit echo-chamberites egging each other on to not even acknowledge their actions affect the people they live with.
RT: https://hell.twtr.plus/objects/c875aed2-4f0a-4e03-80a4-5145d1147628