clarity flowers
If someone demonstrates skill or craftsmanship (ie, drawing), some good compliments are: praising the quality of the work ("I love the linework here"), praising the person for the skills they've developed ("wow that's so cool!").
Some bad compliments are: putting yourself down ("I could never do this"), othering the person ("people who can do this must have a different special kind of brain"), attributing their skill to something innate/unearned ("you're so talented, I'm jealous")
clarity flowers
We live in a world where the default assumption is that immense wealth is earned through hard work while immense skill is an unearned & enviable gift. No wonder we've ended up where we are.
clarity flowers
@atax1a it's truly exhausting!
mx alex tax1a - 2020 (5)
@clarity we had a roommate who always did the latter kind of thing and it got really tiresome to be fodder for her inferiority complex
clarity flowers
@jplebreton yeah absolutely, that's a good point
JP
@clarity skill is kind of an interesting currency in this worldview, it's either something to be coveted and uncritically regarded, or something that is proof of innate goodness and worthiness to rule other humans. and the distinguishing factor is unsurprisingly "usefulness to capital"; an artist is someone with an inborn talent that was never worth particularly much, whereas someone who is "good at business" (always nebulous) is a higher form of life, born to greatness etc blah blah
JP
@clarity i think they really do want to have it both ways, they want to seen as both born geniuses and incredibly hard workers who have earned their right to dominate everything, both chosen by god and fully deserving of more than we'll ever have.
clarity flowers
@jplebreton though, idk, I don't necessarily think it's "usefulness to capital" that makes a skill highly-regarded. I get othered and shamed and coveted for taking pride in programming as a craft (instead of just following orders uncritically) all the time, to everybody's detriment. Like I think skill is still shamed in most contexts, but power can be framed dishonestly as a skill-in-and-of-itself (as you say, "good at business" is always nebulous).
clarity flowers
@apophis @atax1a yeah probably not gonna actually help but damn if it isn't true
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