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   Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:39:26 JST Adrianna Tan

   As a woman who has traveled solo to far more countries than most people have been, the internet is full of straight men explaining why women should definitely not do anything without their help and company, yet they are precisely the men I would be afraid of being alone around

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:39:56 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     If you’ve ever given unsolicited travel advice to a person of a different gender: keep it in your brain

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:40:55 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     Just saw a post with a woman asking for solo bike touring advice (she’s an experienced bike tourist) and lots of men are telling her she should definitely not do it

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:42:54 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     The first time I traveled solo, I was planning to take a bus, motorbike and car to get to Angkor Wat from Bangkok. Many men in my life told me I could not do that. Turns out they’d never even been to Cambodia

     Joachim repeated this.
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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:45:42 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     There are real safety concerns in many places, but if you’ve existed for any amount of time in *any* society as a woman, you do have a lot of experience navigating safety on a daily.. hourly basis? It’s not so different lots of places.

     There are some specific cultural norms you gotta be really savvy about, but often I find that safety-plaining men over-index on the danger of ‘other men’ without so much as a real understanding of the dangers of men at ‘home’.

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:49:30 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     I traveled overland from Malaysia to China. I took the bus and train from Beirut to Istanbul. I spent many, many years around India. All of it. I spent time in Bangladeshi villages. I went to Syria and Yemen alone. I’m not a thrill seeker, I don’t think I’m brave, I am very very good with people and I am extremely street smart. That has nothing to do with my gender.

     My gender, however, puts me in a position of strength in some of these places:

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:51:08 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     I get invited into people’s homes, people want to take care of me and help me out, I get to carry strangers’ babies, I get to ask for help when I need to. I have never felt that my gender restricted me from any kind of travel. Are there things I probably shouldn’t have done? Probably. But I also got to experience incredible things, food, people, culture. By first not assuming that I am any better than them because of where I come from.

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 13:56:40 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     One time I got harassed by a small time gangster in an Indian train, and an entire army of Indian grannies woke up from their bunk beds to kick him out.

     I’m not saying bad stuff doesn’t happen, but that no matter where you are whether you’re at home or traveling, bad stuff can happen and this is also why I like to be in places around lots and lots of people

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     Alexandra Magin 🏳️‍🌈 (recursive@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 15:05:55 JST Alexandra Magin 🏳️‍🌈

     in reply to

     @skinnylatte it also usually seems like an admission that a man knows there's a problem with violence in his own community and is unwilling to do anything to oppose the status quo

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     Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 15:12:03 JST Adrianna Tan

     in reply to

     • Glitch

     @glitchontwitch yeppp

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     Glitch (glitchontwitch@ohai.social)'s status on Friday, 20-Dec-2024 15:12:04 JST Glitch

     in reply to

     @skinnylatte also, ime, if their “solution” to the safety concerns is to encourage your dependence on men, that person…

     Well, if they really don’t see how that is a safety concern in and of itself, they have no business giving safety tips.

     And if they do see it, then they really can’t be trusted. :blobcatfingerguns: