Shannon Curtis
And so lastly … I’m gonna ask for your help. We have a project that we’re putting out in 2025, fueled by a mission to bring MAXIMUM JOY to people. And the fact of the matter is that we need your help to be able to fund it. So: if you have already supported our campaign, THANK YOU. And if you haven’t supported it yet, I’m asking you here to chip in if you can. (info can be found at https://shannoncurtis.net) We would be so grateful to have you behind us.
14/
Shannon Curtis
So … fundraiser time can be, like, existentially hard for me. I mean, we genuinely have fun on our nightly telethon broadcasts, and I can let myself be free of the mental anguish for a little while. And when I focus on the mission we’re trying to accomplish here, I’m brought back to the feeling of YES! This is a good and worthwhile endeavor! And YES! There are loads of people who support us in this.
10/
Shannon Curtis
But those nasty old beliefs sneak up, like, all the time. And so I have been trying to seize the opportunity the universe is presenting me with this past week, to unravel this old pattern.
11/
Shannon Curtis
And the thing that I think has got to be the new way for me — and this shouldn’t have come as any kind of surprise to me, because, DUH — I think that the new way has got to be acceptance. I want to choose to ask for help when I need help, really embrace the vulnerability of that, and I want to choose to accept whatever outcome may result from it, choosing to believe that whatever that outcome is, is exactly what I need in that moment, that it is enough. And that I AM enough, too.
12/
Shannon Curtis
So, I’m not, like, cured, or anything. But I’m working on it. I’m choosing it — over and over and again and again — and I hope that eventually, a new pattern will become stronger than the old one, and that it’ll overcome that old rut that I’ve gotten stuck in too many times.
13/
Shannon Curtis
And, y’all … I am the master of intellectualizing my feelings. And so I know, precisely, what is fueling that old belief. I know it’s partially rooted in that old bullshit american individualism ideal that I grew up with. And that, if I’m not able to do something completely on my own, then there’s probably something wrong with me, or I’m not trying hard enough, or I’m just being lazy, or that I’m not good enough … and man, there is so much shame in that narrative.
7/
Shannon Curtis
I also know that it’s partially rooted in my own co-dependent desire to do everything in my power to control my experience. And, guess what: there is absolutely no way to control the outcome of how other people will respond when we ask for help. You’re just out there in no-mans land, hands open, vulnerable as fuck, waiting to see what other people will do. There's no way to control the outcome!
8/
Shannon Curtis
And that is stressful for someone who learned in her life (the, completely bullshit belief) that controlling the outcome of any situation is the only way to remain emotionally safe.
9/
Shannon Curtis
But I do feel like each time that I have taken it up when the opportunity comes to shed old ways, that choice always ends up being The Thing that opens up for me a new, more grounded, more centered, more authentic and joyful way of being me.
3/
Shannon Curtis
And, as you may know, we’ve been doing a campaign for the last week to ask for help in raising the funds to bring our new album and live show to the world in 2025. And, this is a project that I totally believe in, am so excited for, and really know in my bones is precisely what we need and want to be doing in the world, especially in the context of all of the scary and uncertain times we have ahead of us.
4/
Shannon Curtis
But even with all of that strong conviction within me, I've found myself being given an opportunity to confront some patterns that I know do not serve me. I know that they don’t serve me, because they exist as, like, a low-volume hum in the background of my days, that will wake me up at night & raise my blood pressure & not let me get back to sleep. I can literally, physically feel myself fighting to keep my thoughts out of those old, worn-out ruts, those old beliefs … & man, it is SO HARD.
5/
Shannon Curtis
And the rut for me in the last week or so — the old pattern, the old belief — is this: it is not ok for you, Shannon, to ask for help.
6/
Shannon Curtis
Some thoughts n stuff, from someone consistently grappling with how to be a person / artist / woman / member of society, that I wonder if maybe some of you here can relate to.
1/15 (it's kind of a long-y ... thanks for reading 🖤)
Shannon Curtis
I've been through many periods in my life now — after 50 years of living here on planet Earth — when I have been faced with a sort of opportunity, let’s say, to confront old patterns, old ways of thinking about myself or the world, old beliefs … and it’s never easy or comfortable or even inevitable that I will choose to take up that opportunity.
2/
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