Adrianna Tan
I am almost forty years old (late 2025, but I honestly can’t wait). As a young queer autistic I used to feel like I couldn’t wait to ‘skip the awkward bits right now’, feeling strongly about how at around 40 I will have more or less ‘figured it out.
I spent most of my younger days being very awkward and uncomfortable with who I was in relation to the world. I grew up evangelical Christian. I had a very strong sense of justice in a world that didn’t often like it.
Adrianna Tan
Living somewhere that makes sense for *who and what I am* made a huge difference. San Francisco has its many faults, but overall is still a better place for me than my home Singapore, where I survived but don’t feel like I thrived. Folks from home will be surprised at that as they see my rather privileged life there and assume I must be doing great in spite of being queer and autistic. It’s true, but in San Francisco I feel I thrive because of it, in spite of having less privilege here.
Adrianna Tan
In a weird way I feel like I somehow stumbled into figuring it out early on in life. I didn’t know I was queer or autistic until late in high school. When I was in high school, I ran track, headed the debate team, wrote angry essays about politics, played music. Those things kept me afloat in a system and society that didn’t know how to deal with kids with autism and ADHD. Recently, I return to a combo of all of those things: they still help me feel soothed and empowered today.
Adrianna Tan
Having access to my hobbies and having the privilege and time to build the life I wanted for myself (tech but not tech, never in companies that compromised my values), led to having a much better time of dealing with things. Even though I do a lot (I have 2 and a half jobs!), I don’t feel at risk of burnout because for me burnout is because of values misalignment, not overwork. I’m comfortable where I am now, even if I had to scramble for half this year to make all of that happen.
Adrianna Tan
In my mid 20s I was often in work and personal situations where I felt I didn’t have power or alignment on values. For example I spent a lot of time with venture capitalists. Never again!
Now, I see my life as five year chunks of time. For the last 5 years I did my side quest in ‘government tech’ and now I’m embarking on my next side quest in ocean conservation. I have other side quests (studying the impact of AI on marginalized people). I don’t feel I have to explain why, I can now just.. do
Adrianna Tan
Also feeling especially urgent right now: the urge to write and publish. I’m focusing on a few core areas but I’m finally settling into a rhythm of life that lets me do more of that.
I feel like I’m on the cusp of something. Not achievement, the way my younger self strove for it. More of the feeling that there are many parts of life and the world I now feel more quietly confident about participating in, and I’d like to do more of that.
Adrianna Tan
@rebekka_m someone called me mastodon’s only food influencer, now I’ll have to add Accupressure influencer also
🌈 breaking ranks. 🇺🇦
@skinnylatte oh and just to inform you that you influenced me, I ordered a theracane seconds ago!!!
🌈 breaking ranks. 🇺🇦
@skinnylatte <3 <3 <3
Adrianna Tan
@mariababy I’m aware, but it’s much nicer than being 20
mariababy
@skinnylatte actually things are not really figured out until you are in your 60s
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