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1. Embed this notice
   Anon Opin (anon_opin@mastodon.social)'s status on Friday, 29-Nov-2024 22:22:57 JST Anon Opin

   Dating 'market' apps have fucked how we think about relationships - as an attempt to match 'items' possessing certain 'attributes'. In reality, people are not lists of fixed characteristics. Good relationships change both people: they mould, they react, it's emotional work.

   • Embed this notice
     Charlie Stross (cstross@wandering.shop)'s status on Friday, 29-Nov-2024 22:25:36 JST Charlie Stross

     in reply to

     • Quixoticgeek

     @anon_opin @quixoticgeek Not only that: the purpose of a dating app is not to help the users find their soulmates, it's to make the creators money. Helping users settle into a permanent relationship deprives the vendor of repeat custom, so is bad for the app developer. Ergo, the most successful dating apps are designed to fail (but to fail subtly).

   • Embed this notice
     Charlie Stross (cstross@wandering.shop)'s status on Friday, 29-Nov-2024 22:47:23 JST Charlie Stross

     in reply to

     • Tony Hoyle
     • Quixoticgeek

     @quixoticgeek @tony @anon_opin I've never really dated, just fell into relationships with people I'd already met in other social contexts. (I predate online dating. Hell, I predate the internet *completely*: I'm older than ARPANet.) Dating always seemed like a weird, foreign, stress-laden, highly artificial practice for making an end run around social isolation.

   • Embed this notice
     Quixoticgeek (quixoticgeek@social.v.st)'s status on Friday, 29-Nov-2024 22:47:25 JST Quixoticgeek

     in reply to

     • Charlie Stross
     • Tony Hoyle

     @tony @cstross @anon_opin I've given up on the whole dating thing.

     Tho I'm now kinda curious. Do the cats just start turning up now? Or do I need to go pick a couple of 4 from a shelter ?

     I'm not sure how this being a crazy cat lady thing works.

   • Embed this notice
     Tony Hoyle (tony@toot.hoyle.me.uk)'s status on Friday, 29-Nov-2024 22:47:26 JST Tony Hoyle

     in reply to

     • Charlie Stross
     • Quixoticgeek

     @cstross @anon_opin @quixoticgeek They reduce the emotional commitment to nothing.. try one person today, find another tomorrow.. like trying new shoes.

   • Embed this notice
     Charlie Stross (cstross@wandering.shop)'s status on Saturday, 30-Nov-2024 01:50:38 JST Charlie Stross

     in reply to

     • Tony Hoyle
     • Quixoticgeek
     • AnneH

     @annehargreaves @quixoticgeek @tony @anon_opin Ditto this "prom" thing the youth are doing these days. American cultural import. (Halloween was mostly only observed in Scotland, not Englandshire, until recently.)

   • Embed this notice
     AnneH (annehargreaves@ioc.exchange)'s status on Saturday, 30-Nov-2024 01:50:39 JST AnneH

     in reply to

     • Charlie Stross
     • Tony Hoyle
     • Quixoticgeek

     @cstross @quixoticgeek @tony @anon_opin "Dating" was something in American films wasn't it?