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   Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 23:14:06 JST Artemis

   Found out my older sister is going to be at my parents' for Christmas this year. It's going to be my first Christmas at home in 6 years, and I wasn't necessarily expecting that she would decide to come.

   We've been estranged for some years now. I've dealt with a lot of the shit she put me through, and I know she can't really get to me anymore—I'm over her whole thing.

   But it's still strange.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 23:20:17 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     Most likely the best thing I can do is come home and be present and comfortable with myself without any malice but also without apologizing for anything or ceding ground.

     I'll be myself, and we'll see who she is. If she wants to be present and participate, then I won't be anything but kind, but if she wants to play avoidance games, I ain't acknowledging that shit or playing along.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 23:20:18 JST Artemis

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     The thing I'm probably most worried about is that I will try to extend an olive branch, when—at this point—I've extended several already over the course of several years, so it is all up to her.

     If she ever gets to the point where she's ready to have an actual relationship, that has to come entirely from her. Unless she's ready to come to me and actually address our shit—*her* shit—there's nothing there to work with.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 23:20:19 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     Anyway, I wouldn't really say I'm anxious or worried about this. I don't think her presence is *capable* of spoiling my fun or honestly even causing me momentary distress. Like, she is not on my level. I have been doing my self-work all these years, and her shit is tired.

     But...it definitely is a big question mark. What will this be like? What will I choose to do or say? Will it just seem like she needs compassion for being left behind by the rest of us growing and changing? Dunno.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 23:20:20 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     My sister also used to make me feel like I didn't "fit in" to the family, but now—except for with my oldest brother—I have significantly closer relationships with all of them. So if she thinks she can give me the cold shoulder AND participate with the group, I think she may be in for a shock.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 23:20:21 JST Artemis

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     Even stranger, my brother who got married this year will likely be there with his wife. My sister gave no acknowledgement of his wedding other than RSVP'ing "No" on the website.

     For that matter, I didn't have a big wedding, but I also got married this year and will be there with my husband, and she hasn't acknowledged my marriage either.

     I'm... curious how she plans to navigate this.