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   WoodFren :thunk_butt: (woodfren@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:27:19 JST WoodFren :thunk_butt:
   Kinda fucked but when you have a small baby people love to tell you that you should enjoy it while you can because you can never get that time back. And that is true, but also having a small baby does just suck.
   
   No sleep, tons of crying, high stress, and then somebody, usually an old person, tries to lay some guilt on you because you’re not enjoying it enough while you’re just trying to survive.
   
   They do this because genuinely all they remember is the good, your brain can kinda block out the bad after the fact with thick rose colored glasses. Or they do it because back in the day they just kinda left the other parent to do the hard parts and they actually didn’t have a bad time.
   
   What they should tell you though is that having babies does suck but kids are worth it and it gets much better. Instead of trying to guilt trip you while you’re running on 2 of sleep a night for 6+ months.
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     ApexBoomer (apexboomer@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:31:13 JST ApexBoomer

     in reply to
     @WoodFren There’s another lesson here: babies are a rough go, so have them in your early twenties. You will be able to withstand the rigors of it much more easily.
     BowserNoodle ☦️ likes this.
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     WoodFren :thunk_butt: (woodfren@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:31:32 JST WoodFren :thunk_butt:

     in reply to

     • BattleDwarfGimli
     • ApexBoomer
     This is something I think is really understated today. The family support network is abysmal compared to how it’s been even a couple decades ago.
     
     One thing I have noticed though is how many grandparents are raising babies. Like half the young parents I know are both working full time and their parents are raising their kids. Does lend some credence to an old saying I heard “raise your kids right or you’ll raise theirs“. However those grandparents then don’t have the familial support network either.
     BowserNoodle ☦️ likes this.
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     BattleDwarfGimli (battledwarfgimli@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:31:33 JST BattleDwarfGimli

     in reply to

     • ApexBoomer
     In my own childhood, the early 70s, large families were the norm and, when new babies were born, all the various aunties and cousins would show up, to clean and cook and give the new mother some rest. Baby showers alone, could be pretty large events. Now, many women endure the whole process almost entirely alone.
     
     This is what has been done to us.
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     BattleDwarfGimli (battledwarfgimli@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:34:25 JST BattleDwarfGimli

     in reply to
     I know exactly of what you speak, and I remember my own daughter being an absolute nightmare for about two months. Yes, only two months. We discovered the bouncy swing chair very quickly at about the third month. She'd exhaust herself completely and sleep through the night.
     
     Being as I agree with you, what I typically tell parents with an infant is, "just keep going - it gets worth the trouble really fast."
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     BowserNoodle ☦️ (bowsacnoodle@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:34:25 JST BowserNoodle ☦️

     in reply to

     • BattleDwarfGimli
     @BattleDwarfGimli @WoodFren Bouncy swing, rock and play, and family and friend support systems of all types. It's great if the wife can get some friends who are similar ages moms and they can help each other out. Church is really good for this especially if you have a young and active church.
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     WoodFren :thunk_butt: (woodfren@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 08-Sep-2024 21:34:26 JST WoodFren :thunk_butt:

     in reply to
     The moral of this rant I want to convey is that you’re not a bad parent or a bad person for not having a good time while going through a period of your life that sucks much more than other periods.