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   Penguinflight (penguinflight@mastodon.scot)'s status on Thursday, 18-Jul-2024 02:07:26 JST Penguinflight

   in reply to

   • Coffee Pinewood
   • Deniz Opal

   @coffeepine @selzero I helped a friend get married by doing a lot of pre-wedding work. This meant being in the company of his intended for five weeks.

   She. Was. Appalling. Multiple Personality* was the excuse for sure, but as my friends secondary said: It doesn't matter if ALL your personalities are assholes. (But she didn't use "assholes," which was interesting from an American at the time...)

   *The problem for me was he hadn't actually WARNED me. He told me AFTER I'd been there 3 days...

   • Embed this notice
     Coffee Pinewood (coffeepine@beige.party)'s status on Thursday, 18-Jul-2024 02:07:27 JST Coffee Pinewood

     in reply to

     • Deniz Opal

     @selzero I have met too many people who try and hide their shittyness behind mental issues.

     Which brought me to the simplest explanation:

     "Your mental troubles may very well be an explanation for your behaviour. What they are not is an excuse!"

     I then draw lines, like you did, and I tell them to work on themselves. I even offer help, if I think I can manage that safely. And then they have a simple choice.

     Some cross the line and are axed from my life, but some I am now really proud of because they learned and got better.

   • Embed this notice
     Deniz Opal (selzero@syzito.xyz)'s status on Thursday, 18-Jul-2024 02:07:29 JST Deniz Opal

     Someone on Mastodon got upset with me and unfollowed me because I refused to accommodate actual sociopaths actually sociopathing.

     Yes I do get it, it's a mental illness they have no control over.

     But the rules of human kindness are still there whether you feel them intrinsically or not.

     Mental illness is not a free pass to be destructive to others.

     You have to draw the line somewhere.

     This is where I draw mine. See? It's drawn. I drawned it.