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   Jay Stephens (jaystephens@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 15-Jun-2024 19:06:35 JST Jay Stephens

   Tentatively set Mr. 13's Discord time to unlimited.
   Nup, straight to staying up late on https://discord.com/blog/server-activities-games-voice-watch-together and unable to get up for school in the morning.
   Gah.

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     Tokyo Outsider (337ppm) (tokyo_0@mas.to)'s status on Saturday, 15-Jun-2024 19:06:35 JST Tokyo Outsider (337ppm)

     in reply to

     @jaystephens Was he in a good habit of restricting his own use of it before? You wrote and answered my question about his situtation before, and I bookmarked everything you wrote and meant to write back to you but stuff got really busy - I'm sorry. I'd been hoping things had improved. Sometimes we have to fail a few times before we get stuff right. Maybe he could try with it unlimited on Thursday nights first so it only affects one school day a week, then when he gets that right could have more.

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     Jay Stephens (jaystephens@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 16-Jun-2024 18:28:06 JST Jay Stephens

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     • Tokyo Outsider (337ppm)

     @tokyo_0 No he is quite far behind on the whole impulse control thing. We've tried a few long and short term experiments in various areas and the answer seems to be "the things his phase of life is demanding {e.g. knuckling down to x hours of homework per week) are things his development path will have him ready for in 2-3 years".

     Saturday is basically unlimited and has been for 2 years and he just sits the whole day glued to the screen.

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     Jay Stephens (jaystephens@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 16-Jun-2024 18:28:06 JST Jay Stephens

     in reply to

     • Tokyo Outsider (337ppm)

     @tokyo_0 The Thursday suggestion is smart though and I will have a think about how to use that idea 👍

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     Tokyo Outsider (337ppm) (tokyo_0@mas.to)'s status on Sunday, 16-Jun-2024 18:28:06 JST Tokyo Outsider (337ppm)

     in reply to

     @jaystephens Hope it helps for you. Tbh I'm decades older than him and I still struggle with screen time and putting first things first. I think it's genuinely challenging for everyone — these platforms and games are built to hold people's attention, using all kinds of tricks.

     I wonder why he's resisting the homework so much, though. He must know it's there to help him succeed. What does he think will happen if he doesn't do it?

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     Tokyo Outsider (337ppm) (tokyo_0@mas.to)'s status on Sunday, 16-Jun-2024 18:30:30 JST Tokyo Outsider (337ppm)

     in reply to

     @jaystephens Maybe it's worth trying really short time-blocks—like, 30 minutes of homework in the evening or on a weekend morning before he gets the screentime (the same way as that is set up now). You can sit with him and read (if it's book work) or sit alongside him (if it's at the PC), and it won't matter if he doesn't finish it—just as long as he spends 30mins starting it or trying to start it. If he does that, it's a success (for now). I wonder if something like that may help change habits.

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     Tokyo Outsider (337ppm) (tokyo_0@mas.to)'s status on Sunday, 16-Jun-2024 18:33:05 JST Tokyo Outsider (337ppm)

     in reply to

     @jaystephens The next step up from that would be something like 30 minutes homework, up to an hour of screentime and then another 30 minutes of homework. It's about learning the homework won't go on forever, that he won't lose the thing he wants by doing the homework, and also about breaking down the homework into smaller chunks that are more manageable—chipping away at it with a little bit of progress each time. When he sees he can actually do it, I think he might get some momentum of his own.