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   Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Friday, 31-May-2024 23:57:58 JST Artemis

   I think when everyone is recovering from dysfunction and trauma, your family of origin can also be a "found family" of sorts.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Friday, 31-May-2024 23:57:54 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     Seriously, friends, if you have to cut out some or all of your family members, that is a thing you can do. There is no magic bond that says that you owe it to the person who birthed you to stay in touch no matter what they say or do. NOPE. Do not believe in that. Not one bit.

     Build happy, healthy relationships with the people who want happy, healthy relationships with you.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Friday, 31-May-2024 23:57:55 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     But on a certain level, it's like, it doesn't even really matter that they're my family of origin. They're just people whom I love. That's it.

     My relationship with my dad is not important because he's my father. It's important because a lot of love and care has gone into it on both sides. And so on.

     My family of origin just so happens to make up a big part of my found family, but it's not some magic, sacred thing. It's just about having people you love who love you.

     GreenSkyOverMe (Monika) repeated this.
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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Friday, 31-May-2024 23:57:56 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     I think one of the reasons I sometimes feel uncomfortable about how happy I am for the healing and strengthening of relationships in my family is that I know that there are family relationships that are not reparable, and some people have family members who are too toxic for them to even talk to, and I wouldn't want anything I say about family reconciliation to in any way undercut or invalidate that.

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     Artemis (artemis@dice.camp)'s status on Friday, 31-May-2024 23:57:57 JST Artemis

     in reply to

     I thought I was an outsider looking in at the rest of the family when I was a child. Turns out there was no "inside" to be in at that time. We were all too lost in our own pain.

     But now I'm inside the family we built from all of that.

     Basically just the plot of Encanto.