t_l_wood
Things I teach my kids:
• “No” is a complete sentence.
• If you’re not having a good time you can leave.
• Never make yourself smaller just to make other people more comfortable.
• It’s okay not to be okay.
• Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.
• Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.
• Speak as kindly to yourself as you would speak to others.
• Be your own greatest cheerleader, always.
It’s never too late to learn these things.
#SelfCare
t_l_wood
“I shall stay in this terrible place—emotionally and/or physically—knowing it is terrible and is actively hurting me, while also complaining about it to others, and yet never doing anything to change the situation or protect myself” seems to me like a less than optimal way to live.
Be like Roy Kent, just say, “Fuck, no!”
t_l_wood
It’s funny; so many of these things I learned as an adult as a product of Less Than Good Times and I wish I’d known them as a teen. Probably would have helped if I’d had decent role-models rather than having to self-parent for most of my life. Perhaps the biggest lesson was, “your feelings are valid”. How you choose to express and act upon them is variable, but you always have the right to feel how you feel and no one has the right to tell you otherwise.
t_l_wood
This toot coming from a place of noticing how often people put up with shit from others because they genuinely don’t know how to say “when”.
t_l_wood
And here also is the nod to “toxic positivity”—things that are supposedly said and done to encourage you but are actually nasty little barbs in disguise. They’re usually designed to play on your guilt or insecurities, with a veiled suggestion that if you don’t act in a certain way then you only have yourself to blame for the bad stuff.
Eg. when:
“You can always leave…”
becomes
“Why didn’t you just leave?”
Don’t fall for it.
veer66
@t_l_wood Uncles here teach me these by examples.
Jonathan Kamens 86 47
@t_l_wood "Don't take criticism..." reminds me of something Tyler James Williams said during his recent "Fresh Air" interview.
He mostly avoids social media, and he said the trap he sees many other actors falling into is getting invested in the attention they get from SM when they're new and it's positive, so when it inevitably turns negative they can't help but take that seriously as well. His position is basically that the only way to win is not to play.
Ref: https://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/2024/05/14/1251295803/fresh-air-for-may-14-2024-abbott-elementary-co-star-tyler-james-williams
t_l_wood
@jik So much this. It’s important to make sure the loudest and most positive voice in your head is your own, not anyone else’s.
GNU social JP is a social network, courtesy of GNU social JP管理人. It runs on GNU social, version 2.0.2-dev, available under the GNU Affero General Public License.
All GNU social JP content and data are available under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license.