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   insecurity princess 🌈💖🔥 (saraislet@infosec.exchange)'s status on Friday, 26-Jan-2024 17:57:53 JST insecurity princess 🌈💖🔥

   I had the worst thought today:
   Am I doing a disservice to an early career person by not preparing them for the realities of abusive managers?

   #PeopleManagement

   • clacke likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     Paul_IPv6 (paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange)'s status on Friday, 26-Jan-2024 17:57:57 JST Paul_IPv6

     in reply to

     @saraislet

     you are giving them good memories so that after they live through some abusive managers and progress to when they manage, they will know how to do things better.

     clacke likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     insecurity princess 🌈💖🔥 (saraislet@infosec.exchange)'s status on Friday, 26-Jan-2024 17:58:01 JST insecurity princess 🌈💖🔥

     in reply to

     • Paul_IPv6

     @paul_ipv6 right, but do I need to teach folks on my team to carry mace or brass knuckles and be afraid of what may lurk in the darkness even though I also want them to feel safe in the darkness on my team?

     clacke likes this.
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     Paul_IPv6 (paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange)'s status on Friday, 26-Jan-2024 17:58:05 JST Paul_IPv6

     in reply to

     @saraislet

     at least give them some tools to recognize when they might need to watch their backs, as well as some tools for how to manage up when you don't have a great boss.

     clacke likes this.
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     clacke (clacke@libranet.de)'s status on Friday, 26-Jan-2024 17:58:08 JST clacke

     in reply to

     • SpaceLifeForm
     @SpaceLifeForm @saraislet That makes my brain go straight to "Voight-Kampff Test".
   • Embed this notice
     SpaceLifeForm (spacelifeform@infosec.exchange)'s status on Friday, 26-Jan-2024 17:58:09 JST SpaceLifeForm

     in reply to

     @saraislet

     Ask them what they think about their parents.

   • Embed this notice
     nonlinear (nonlinear@social.praxis.nyc)'s status on Thursday, 01-Feb-2024 01:25:04 JST nonlinear

     in reply to

     @saraislet we should at least teach them to have paper trail for anything they're asked to do

     And to distrust managers that try to bypass it

     Most of us learn by trauma alone (of a manager throwing you under the bus for something they requested), but there are better ways

     clacke likes this.
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     insecurity princess 🌈💖🔥 (saraislet@infosec.exchange)'s status on Thursday, 01-Feb-2024 01:25:08 JST insecurity princess 🌈💖🔥

     in reply to

     Not that I would (abusively) treat someone badly or manipulate them to show them how much "better" they have it than if they were in an (abusive) relationship

     but like...should someone be aware of that? or prepared to think carefully about how someone might abuse their trust?

     How would I raise a femme child who likes straight men, knowing that they're dangerous and knowing that teaching them creates the hypervigilance I'd prefer they didn't have to experience

     clacke likes this.
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     Alexandra Magin 🏳️‍🌈 (recursive@hachyderm.io)'s status on Thursday, 01-Feb-2024 01:25:11 JST Alexandra Magin 🏳️‍🌈

     in reply to

     @saraislet The thing I have seen the best parents do is to inform the child appropriately to their stage of development, being careful to try not to propagate their trauma. (e.g. the pattern of frightening kids to keep them "safe").

     clacke likes this.