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   Aijaz Ansari (aijaz@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 15-Jan-2024 17:49:10 JST Aijaz Ansari

   in reply to

   * also denim jeans that theoretically fit but somehow magically transformed from loose-fit to skinny jeans.

   • Embed this notice
     Aijaz Ansari (aijaz@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 15-Jan-2024 17:49:13 JST Aijaz Ansari

     It is with a heavy heart that I hereby announce that I have decided to retire my 20+-year-old Union Bay (“Quality Made Sportwear”) cargo shorts that were acquired several presidential administrations ago*. They failed to meet the following criteria:

     - Have I worn them in the past 18 months?
     - Can I be seen in public wearing wearing them without looking like I’m desperately trying (and failing) to look young?

     May they find a loving home where their specious pockets are appreciated. Amen.

     GreenSkyOverMe (Monika) repeated this.