Conversation

Notices

1. Embed this notice
   Bethany Black (bethanyblack@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 11-Dec-2023 17:19:58 JST Bethany Black

   I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to explain the humourous thing people do that really winds me up and makes me immediately dislike someone, it’s sort of where they deny the premise but in a way that’s affected and hyperbolic.

   An example, I just saw a post asking what the worst Christmas Bonus was that people had received and one of the answers was “What’s a Christmas bonus? Never had one.”

   • Embed this notice
     Bethany Black (bethanyblack@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 11-Dec-2023 17:23:07 JST Bethany Black

     in reply to

     The second sentence of their response makes the first sentence a lie, they do, as anyone who grew up in our culture does, know what a Christmas bonus is, they said it to be sarcastic but also yo position themselves as a kind of stoic, who’d had a tougher life than the person asking the question.

     It’s a step removed from “You were Lucky! We had to work 24 hours per day for a sixpence with no days off and 48 hours on Christmas day”

   • Embed this notice
     Bethany Black (bethanyblack@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 11-Dec-2023 17:26:29 JST Bethany Black

     in reply to

     Sarcastically pretending not to understand is the key here, this is my failing as this is a common social heuristic a lot of people (especially fellow autistic people) have learned as a way of building social relationships, but I think stemming from my own experience that people who do this have escalated to being cruel and making fun of me for not quite getting social cues.

   • Embed this notice
     Bethany Black (bethanyblack@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 11-Dec-2023 17:37:23 JST Bethany Black

     in reply to

     • samir, a distributed system

     @samir oh yeah, 100% English, and it is a particularly English response, it’s so pervasive though, so many people do that type of sarcastic response even if they don’t want to show a moral high ground of suffering

   • Embed this notice
     samir, a distributed system (samir@mastodon.functional.computer)'s status on Monday, 11-Dec-2023 17:37:24 JST samir, a distributed system

     in reply to

     @BethanyBlack As far as I can tell, it’s a very British thing. Having a hard life is some kind of moral high ground.

     I guess it probably goes hand-in-hand with the extreme self-deprecation.

     I never realised it until I left. I do not miss it.

     (I’m guessing the responder you saw was British. Just a hunch.)

   • Embed this notice
     BoneHouseWasps🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺 (bonehousewasps@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 11-Dec-2023 20:00:36 JST BoneHouseWasps🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺

     in reply to

     @BethanyBlack I know it's not the point of your post but last year, I got an #NFT of a Christmas tree. Not even joking.