I think about this iconic reddit post all the time
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Another Angry Woman (stavvers@masto.ai)'s status on Friday, 01-Dec-2023 06:10:06 JST Another Angry Woman -
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Evan Prodromou (evan@cosocial.ca)'s status on Friday, 01-Dec-2023 06:10:04 JST Evan Prodromou @stavvers so what is your recommendation for OP?
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Another Angry Woman (stavvers@masto.ai)'s status on Friday, 01-Dec-2023 06:10:05 JST Another Angry Woman much love to everyone who has obviously seen it before because they slammed the boost button long before the human brain is capable of reading it
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Evan Prodromou (evan@cosocial.ca)'s status on Saturday, 02-Dec-2023 05:55:15 JST Evan Prodromou @JessTheUnstill @stavvers so, I kind of had the sense that the "sub union local #524" thing was a fun way for the subs to invert the power dynamic. But, yeah, even though the element of surprise was interesting, it's also something that needs to be negotiated. I'd say: do the OOB talk, see if it sounds fun for everyone, and if so figure out how to play with the theme.
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Jess👾 (jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange)'s status on Saturday, 02-Dec-2023 05:55:16 JST Jess👾 It would be hard to advise unless you had more direct knowledge of the people and the situation, and whether the dom just gets off on abusing his power over the subs or whether he is just inexperienced at how to manage the relationship.
My general advise for ALL relationships, maybe especially in polycules and dom/sub situations would be to have a periodic "Out of Character" honest discussion of the relationship, what things are working well, what things are not working well, and work together to find a way to get everyone's needs met.
I think if the dom had the wisdom and capacity to sit down and do a meeting like this with his subs, they could establish clear boundaries of what things are fun ways for the dom to push his authority/power over the subs, but also how to allow the subs ways of providing boundaries and "soft no" without having to resort to safe words, mutual action, or leaving the relationship.
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