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   LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 22-Nov-2023 07:06:21 JST LRRR :bc:

   THE LAST THREE AND A HALF YEARS HAVE BEEN SUCH A MASSIVE TEABAGGING BY FEAR, ISOLATION, LOSS, GRIEF, AND SADNESS. THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY WE LOST, THE SHATTERED FAITH IN OTHERS, THE CHRONIC AILMENTS THAT TAIL AFTER SOME OF US, THE UNATTENDED FUNERALS, THE MISSED BIRTHS, THE TOTAL DISCONNECT BETWEEN LIVED EXPERIENCE AND THE NARRATIVES OF NEEDING TO RETURN TO THE OFFICE, THE STUNTED SOCIAL LIVES, THE FEELING THAT IT'S STILL MARCH 2020 AND THAT THIS COULD LAST UNTIL MAY OR MAYBE JUNE, THE PERVASIVE SENSE THAT SOMETHING IS INEFFABLY BUT STILL VERY WRONG AND WILL NEVER IN OUR LIFETIMES BE OKAY. IT'S ALL TOO MUCH, AND WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT, AND IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE ENOUGH PEOPLE CARE THE RIGHT WAY.

   IF YOU WANT, THIS IS A GOOD THREAD TO YELL ABOUT COVID TRAUMA.

   • Embed this notice
     Joseph Riparian 🏳️‍⚧️ (holyramenempire@kolektiva.social)'s status on Wednesday, 22-Nov-2023 07:06:16 JST Joseph Riparian 🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     @LRRRonEarth Thank you. I'm so sorry for your suffering.

     I am struggling with a unique form of COVID trauma. I've been burdened with the knowledge that a pandemic of respiratory disease was going to happen since I was in my early teens. And I knew Trump would win by January 2016, and knew he would lose and refuse to leave office by early 2020, and I was FINALLY gaslit into believing that it was "just anxiety".

     People aren't brushing me off the same way anymore, but at what cost? I should have tried harder to keep my people safe. I feel broken by the fact that I spent my whole life trying to become a person that others would believe, a kind and upstanding citizen with a good career, and it was all just such a waste. I could have gone to art school, or dropped out of school at 13 like I wanted to, or learned to play drums, or some other thing *I* would have loved, and it would have been the same, from the perspective of the looming pandemic. No one believed me!!

   • Embed this notice
     LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 22-Nov-2023 07:06:19 JST LRRR :bc:

     in reply to

     OOC: I'll start.

     I DIDN'T GET TO HAVE A REAL LAW SCHOOL GRADUATION! I EARNED GOLD CORDS AND I WANTED TO FUCKING WEAR THEM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND BE SEEN IN GRADUATION PHOTOS BY TOTAL STRANGERS FOR DECADES AS THE FANCIEST BITCH OF ALL! I WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY FRIENDS! I WANTED TO BE IMPRESSIVE!

     I WANTED MY PARENTS TO BE THERE WHEN MY SON WAS BORN! I WANTED THEM TO HOLD HIM WHEN HE WAS STILL SQUISHED AND SMALL AND HAD NEVER KNOWN DARKNESS!!

     I WISH MY UNCLE WHO I ONLY REALLY SAW AT WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS WAS STILL ALIVE!

     I WISH I DIDN'T STOP EXERCISING AND START EATING INDULGENTLY 44 MONTHS AGO. I WANT THE ROUTINE AND THE BODY AND THE GOOD FEELINGS I USED TO HAVE!!

     I WANTED TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE I COULD JUST GET A BABYSITTER SOMETIMES!!!

     I WANT TO GO TO SHOWS. I WISH THE OPEN MIKE EAGLE SHOW I WAS PLANNING TO GO TO WASN'T CANCELLED IN MARCH 2020.

     I'm tired of yelling.

     I wish I could think better of my friends and neighbors, or take my kids into a grocery store and scold my son for misbehaving.

     I wish I wasn't getting lied to all the time by the fourth estate.

     I wish I wasn't so angry and scared and alone. I wish I needed this less.

     I wish my wife could still breathe cold air.

     I miss the future we were all supposed to have.

     Sabrina✨ repeated this.