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This is aside from today's meta but I think I've seen quite a few takes now dismissing trans disposability as a valid concern and it doesn't sit right with me.

I had once had to give into leftist discourse that called for canceling and pushing out my online friend, we'll say Natalie for genuinely shitty anti-indigenous jokes, and I regretted doing so very deeply.

My IRL friend, we'll say her name is Sarah basically reached out to me and said that I'm not a real leftist if I don't cancel Natalie and that I don't care about indigenous people if I didn't push her out.

I was very critical, mind you, and argued extensively with Natalie about those jokes and trying to get her to see they were being shitty and it didn't amount to much.

I argued with Sarah saying I felt like I'd have a better chance at changing Natalie's mind if I waited until her mania calmed down and she wasn't being on edge about it from all the criticism, but that pushing her out and cutting off my friend for what was just internet toxicity felt wrong.

I ultimately caved and cut Natalie off.

I had lost a friend that way for quite a while and I don't think in doing so that I changed her mind on anything, just made her worse and more toxic at the time.

I wouldn't have continued to know her and have this space if I hadn't gone back and given her a chance again and rejected this notion that because of someone having a moment of being shitty we should dispose of them, and it's evident that she's been capable of change as I do think that friend is now much further left than I am.

I'm not going to see trans disposability as ever okay, I take as much issue with it as I do with bigotry. We need other ways to resolve issues that aren't around demanding others cut people off.

There's good argument for saying we shouldn't prioritize rehabilitating someone doing material harm, such as sexual assault hate crimes etc but when it comes to someone just being shitty online yes I do think yall do need to focus more on issuing criticism than policing whether others are allowed to continue to engage with that person anymore, because by your standards I should not be friends with Natalie when a lot of yall are friends with her now, nor should she be friends with me.

I think by those standards even most trans women would be disposed of. You can't convince me to be okay with that.

This situation was on my mind throughout all the drama the past few days because it's like, how do I do differently than I did with Natalie? It's a lot less black and white than people make it out to be.

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