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   novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 01:48:01 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

   Honestly not enjoying being on this platform anymore. The amount of times I've had interactions with people where they get pissed off at me for nonsensical reasons and start putting words in my mouth and saying things about me that aren't true, and so I can't just leave them be and agree to disagree bc what they're saying is directly about me, and so I end up having physiological stress responses so strong it actually leaves me feeling physically in pain everywhere, like the worst fever aches you've ever had, for multiple days, to where I can't sleep and don't want to eat or do anything fun or even hug my girlfriend, just outweighs the positive interactions I have here. I think I'll stick around to keep boosting Jade's gofundme but expect far less interaction. I'm tired of talking to internet leftists.

   • Embed this notice
     symmetrizer (symmetrizer@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 01:51:14 JST symmetrizer

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl talking politics online fucking sucks. IMHO it's a waste of time and energy, that's why I mostly avoid it.

   • Embed this notice
     marenzers (marenzers@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 01:55:43 JST marenzers

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl yikes... are people in truespace a bit easier to talk with?

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     :pdx_elk: (rose@503junk.house)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 01:56:36 JST :pdx_elk:

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl the whole "you said you like waffles, so why do you hate people who enjoy pancakes" phenomenon seems to me to be an order of magnitude worse on the fediverse, and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because the nature of federation trends toward cliques in the social graph.

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     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 01:56:36 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • :pdx_elk:

     @rose no idea. But I think a lot of it too is that people are genuinely traumatized and hurt and have other stuff going on in real life and so they read their emotions into what everyone else is saying. I think that's what happened to me in the most recent case, where someone said something I wholeheartedly agree with and So I responded with a whole long post agreeing with them and then tacked on a reply to myself with a small little caveat clarification for people who might misread what I or they were saying and they immediately responded as if that was some kind of rejection of what they were saying or that I was claiming they were saying the thing I was clarifying against or some indication of fragility or defensiveness or whatever when it really wasn't.

     And it affects me so much is that when someone starts accusing me of something or gets mad at me I immediately strive really hard to figure out the way in which what they're saying could be true, to find the kernel of truth in what they're saying that applies to me, so I take everything people say way more to heart and way seriously then I think social media interaction styles are typically built for, and then my continuous engagement with them trying to clarify what I was actually saying and doing and come to some kind of mutual understanding with them, even a compromise, is interpreted as combativeness. But I can't accept your criticism until I understand why you are making it and how it actually applies to me. If I was really unwilling to take criticism then I just shoot off some witty sarcastic response and then block you.

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     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 01:57:56 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • marenzers

     @marenzers in my experience even people on leftist or Anarchist discords are much easier to discuss with because there's a much greater assumption of good faith and much less shopping words into your mouth and assuming things about you and just looking for the earliest opportunity to slap you with a few buzzwords and proclaim yourself having won. In the end I think it boils down to the fact that in real life and on Discord you are directly talking to someone in a real-time manner whereas on Mastodon it's a bit more of a pro wrestling spectator sport and it's a bit more asynchronous as well so it's easier to dehumanize the people you are talking to

   • Embed this notice
     marenzers (marenzers@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:00:37 JST marenzers

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl I would love to have better discussions and maybe help somehow. I'm not yet connected to local leftist circles. In the meantime, do you have advice on how to find a worthwhile crowd online? Public server listings feel like junkyard foraging.

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:01:31 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • marenzers

     @marenzers honestly it sort of happens by chance or you have to build a server yourself.

   • Embed this notice
     marenzers (marenzers@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:05:56 JST marenzers

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl Thank you and I'm wishing you the best

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:08:04 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     The reason I struggle with this stuff is because I can't stop wondering if they're right, somehow, because like — they're supposed to be on my side! they're using real terms that are important when used usually! — but I just can't see it, so I end up in an infinite loop.

   • Embed this notice
     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:16:22 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     Like, this isn't a general need to make everyone believe what I believe the truth is, or else myself uncritically accept what everyone else believes the truth is, in order to be able to get along with people. In general I don't need my perceptions of reality and everyone else is to be perfectly aligned in order to be able to coexist and work together. But I *do* need to come to some mutual understanding with you when what you are saying specifically pertains to me and is about me and so we can't just agree to disagree because then you'll just keep accusing me of things that I think are false and we won't be able to get along. And I've been accused of having a "colonizer brain" for this, but I don't see it.

   • Embed this notice
     The Galactic Shitpost Outpost (cosmictrigger@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:23:13 JST The Galactic Shitpost Outpost

     in reply to

     @anarchopunk_girl Don't let gatekeepers keep you from speaking your truth.

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     novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ (anarchopunk_girl@kolektiva.social)'s status on Sunday, 08-Oct-2023 02:24:26 JST novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

     in reply to

     • The Galactic Shitpost Outpost

     @CosmicTrigger in theory sure but I'm like actually physically suffering bc of this so like