goatsarah
I have often seen the question asked, “why are so many trans women so aggressive/combative”.
And the answer is that we don’t start out being, but we quickly learn that expecting people to be decent human beings towards us because it’s the right thing to do doesn’t work.
It only works if we make it harder to not treat us like human beings than vice versa.
I don’t feel like that’s on us to fix.
Gen X-Wing
@goatsarah In some ways the wrong question, why aren’t the rest of us angrier about this? It’s not that damn complicated. Step one, be nice. Step two, everyone is equal and get the same rights.
I totally get it. I just hope I don’t inadvertently say something stupid (because my brain not great at things said).
goatsarah
@breadbin You’ve never given the impression of being about to say stupid things, if that helps?
I mean, I say stupid things all the time!
goatsarah
unreasonable villain
@goatsarah mas cansa muito
novatorine 🏴🏳️⚧️
@markusl @breadbin @goatsarah Black Mastodon has been talking about this a lot, if you follow them. It's especially bad on Mastodon because of how Federation works where you can kind of get Shadow Federated networks of bad people that can break containment in a way that's visible to some people (if their instances are less thoroughly moderated) but invisible to everyone else.
MarkusL
One reason we're not angrier is that we don't see all the abuse that marginalised people get. We don't see people's DMs, for example, and we don't see publicly visible abusive messages that someone else has already reported and had deleted by an admin. A troll can also use message visibility settings to get friends to pile on to a marginalised person while the rest of us don't see the abuse.
Because I'm not a target, I have no figures on how often this happens.
Veronica Olsen 🏳️🌈🇳🇴🌻
@goatsarah On the flip side, being a calm and articulate bigot gives you a lot of traction with the media, who is always incredibly eager to "both sides" such issues.
A particularly bad case here was one of our country's more public legal experts commending a TERF for using an "indoor voice", more than implying that queer people were not, which she found "tiring". It's an incredible display of privilege, at best. I lost whatever respect I had for her at that moment.
Veronica Olsen 🏳️🌈🇳🇴🌻
@goatsarah Also, accusations of being "aggressive" is a common tactic against marginalised groups. If you don't respond to hostility and bigotry calmly enough you're blamed for causing it by being "too aggressive".
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