@ErosBlog ha, yeah it's always even more annoying when the others I'm competing with are out-and-out pricks. But I will get there one day, I know it! Huge thanks for your help =)
@girlonthenet I finally looked at the SERPs for your target phrase and found you showing at #8 for me in a guest window where Google doesn't know who I am. Unfortunately six of the other seven results are such pious condescending old-school journalistic preachy tripe that I now FULLY understand and endorse your goal. Ideally all those press orgs will also be forced to relocate onto a stinky-bilged pirate radio boat anchored in the Channel with stopped-up toilets after you have bested them.
@ErosBlog hahaha oh this is so lovely of you! Thank you so much! And I LOVE that beans story too 😂 Please do let me know if I can be of assistance in any of your unusual SEO goals in return!
@girlonthenet So well do I know the pain of harboring my own idiosyncratic SEO goals that are achievable in theory (because nobody else wants them) that I could not resist doing my part to further yours: http://www.erosblog.com/2023/09/07/popsicles-no/
Genuinely gutted that this still doesn't rank on Google when you search 'ice lolly vagina' - I will continue to promote it at hot times of year until I get on P1 of Google OR get quoted by a serious journalist as the Ice Lolly Sex Correspondent