Ciggy Bringer of Smoke
"Waiter, I ordered The Vanguard Party Especial, why the fuck is this covered in Professional Middle Class sauce?"
"Yes, you got exactly what your heart desired, a Vanguard Party Especial"
"But...this isnt how you make it...like I am Vanguardist and this is all wrong."
"Says who?"
"Me, the Vanguardist whose entire partisan existence is framed around that concept
"I never heard of you, your picture isnt on the bottle, are you sure about that?"
*piano flourishes to set up slow melodic talky part*
Ciggy Bringer of Smoke
"When I was a little lad...I read up on Marxist theory - it filled me up and gave me hope in this world so dreary. I had big dreams of Revolution, and being a Revolutionary...but as I sit here with my Vanguard, I feel a bit...Reactionary
5-6-7-8!"
Ciggy Bringer of Smoke
"They recouped my sauce
Stole it in the night,
They swooped my spot,
and I barely gave a fight
Even though theres phases
And State Capitalism is a thing
Leave it to the professionals
To really make it sting"
Ciggy Bringer of Smoke
*instrumental plays while we get a little exposition*
"It used to be, we Marxists pushed the envelope on Social Consciousness and the interlinking of struggles that are undergirded by Class Consciousness, but now...now...these damn DEI professionals are running amok and undercutting our play with the proletariat, telling them about pronoun usage and Juneteenth, what are we supposed to even do?"
"Become Neo Conservatives and double reverse backlip into the good graces the proletatiat by dropping our trousers for their affection"
*music cuts, entire cast glares and says in unison, the single instance of Left Unity youve ever seen*
"Who let the Trot in this musical? Someone fetch some hot soup to pour on them!"
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