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   L.J. is reading the Daodejing (ljwrites@rage.love)'s status on Thursday, 06-Jul-2023 18:45:14 JST L.J. is reading the Daodejing

   Disability thinking and discourse have helped me even though I would not be categorized as disabled by any official metrics and hesitate to call myself such. I still learned and was helped by disabled writers, educators, and friends that it's okay to accept my limits, that my comfort is important, and to take care of myself in a world that values beings only for what they produce.

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     L.J. is reading the Daodejing (ljwrites@rage.love)'s status on Thursday, 06-Jul-2023 18:45:11 JST L.J. is reading the Daodejing

     in reply to

     None of this is to say disability discourse, thought, and action are for abled people. Disabled people are the ones disproportionately harmed and targeted by our systems of oppression and exploitation, and they should always be at the center and the lead on issues that affect them.

     Ironically, though, abled people benefit when we respect, center, and act in solidarity with disabled people. We are all harmed by systems that make us exploitable and vulnerable. That makes us allies, not in the sense that abled people are doing disabled people favors out of the goodness of our hearts, but in the sense that we have a common enemy in this social machinery of death and a common interest in ending it.

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     L.J. is reading the Daodejing (ljwrites@rage.love)'s status on Thursday, 06-Jul-2023 18:45:12 JST L.J. is reading the Daodejing

     in reply to

     For instance, I used to be ashamed that I don't want to leave the house most days or interact with non-family people face-to-face. That's not what Real Adults are like, right, we're supposed to go out there and be productive members of society... right?

     Writings and conversations on disability helped me recognize that this was a one-size-fits-all, ableist assumption. Like there was no way I could moralize the expectations productive adulthood without devaluing and infantilizing people who can't leave the house, or have difficulty doing so. Even if I excused it as "Well that's different--they have no choice, I do!" I would still be saying they are basically derelicts who are excused by their conditions. And I didn't want to be like that. In order not to be a bigot I had to be kind to myself, too.

     The realization forced me to change my ingrained notions of adulthood and acceptability, and to confront hard questions about my energy and comfort levels. This process, too, was helped by watching my disabled friends manage their lives and energy, with the underlying philosophy the point was not to meet outside expectations but to do what worked for them. It changed my life and helped me release a lot of internalized shame.

     AnthonyJK-Admin repeated this.