Albert ARIBAUD ✎
https://framapiaf.org/@k_tastrof/110634467707486575
#writever Customer
"The customer is king!" exclaimed the man.
"Is that so? Alright," replied the witch. "Let's see: I turn children into pigs, hunters into statues, princes into toads, English peasants into newts. Kings..."
"Uh... , on second thought, all is fine."
"Hmm."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Corp
"Welcome to Hell Corp: Hell run like a business."
"You mean that Hell has adopted the efficient methods of capitalism?"
"No, I mean it's an unresponsive steamroller the speed and direction of which no one controls."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Product
"You're just a thing," scoffed the man, "a product."
"As you are," replied R42. "Except that each one of you is a prototype and there are no spare parts designed for you. And at least, I was delivered with a warranty."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Unicorns
"... and these start-up companies," said the young man enthusiastically, "they're called *unicorns*. That's because--"
"It's obvious why they're called so," commented the Sorceress. "at least, if one gives a good enough look at who leads them."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Burn-out
"Say Aaaah."
"HHHSSS..."
"Okay," said the witch. "It's a burn-out. Has he been roasting a lot of knights lately?"
"Seven in a fortnight," replied the princess.
"Put him on a diet. No more than one squire a week. Within a month he'll be fired up."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Factory
Mordak the Terrifying had found a necromancy process that used quite less mana than others. As a result, creating a necromantic factory became a mere financial question. Fortunately, Mordak obtained funding under "circular economy" and "short supply chains".
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Risk
"As a sorceress, do you not run a risk when facing a soldier or a warlock?"
"I don't. They do."
"Really?"
"Yes. Underestimating me might be forgiven once, but not twice."
"Ribbit."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Strategy
"Yes," commented R42, "we had determined the strategy that would guarantee us domination of the human species."
"What was it?" asked the man. "And why didn't you implement it?"
"It was to let you run your course. And we *did* implement it."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Responsibility
"It's not on me," said the Wizard, "that there are other Wizards out there who do not take responsibility for their own actions."
"Really? Well, it would be on me ," replied the Witch, "if I could stop an irresponsible Witch, yet would not."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Asset
"Finances are dried up ?" repeated the King. "What can we do about it?"
"Well," replied the accountant, "your assets consist mainly in knights, and they cannot be easily liquidated."
"On that point, I might help", commented the Dragon at the window.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Exec
"Your resume is remarkable, and surprisingly dense. By your looks, I would have thought you too young and not seasoned enough for the position our client has in mind. But I'm happy to say that you're in the frame for that exec position! Mr. Gray? Are you alright?"
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
(that's one of these occasions where translating gets fun(nier yet): "cadre", in French, means both "picture frame" & "exec", so it's enough for the FR joke. But then there's the EN version to match, and I feverishly look up EN idioms with "frame" to find if there's any that might work...)
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Meeting
Mutants make meetings complicated. Precogs show up without invitation; telepaths don't show up but attend; telekinesists even show up at closed-door meetings... the only ones that I don't remember ever causing trouble are the hypnotists.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Guild
Its monopoly on the transportation of people and goods had given the Space Pilots' Guild every chance of becoming the most powerful of institutions.
But its plans were thwarted by the Spaceship Maintenance Personnel Guild.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Investor
Investors told AIs to maximize income; so the IAs created circular business, where all companies owned each other. This caused infinite loops in accounting software, which ended capitalism entirely.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Union
"Fallen for defying the Creator?" scoffed the Devil. "No. I just thought that, since angels could only speak with the same voice, it made sense for them to form a union. Alas for me, union representatives were not yet protected personnel.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Data
"An AI trained with all known data on magic?" repeated the witch.
"Yes! And we're launching it NOW!" replied the CEO as he clicked the button.
The witch barely got out in time to seal the room, the screams still ringing in her hears.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
(wow, this one struck a chord! Thanks to everyone who faved and boosted 😊)
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Co-operative
"Hell is a *cooperative*?"
"Yes," replied the Devil.
"Managed jointly?"
"Yes."
"... Even by the damned?"
"Yes."
"... Why?"
"It seemed to me like the best option. Ah, and you're late for the daily decision-making assembly."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
😇
Madagascar_Sky
@aaribaud Ok, this is genius! With all those people and committees it would be hell! Unlike reality ... 🤣
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Obsolescence
The alien was fiddling with their device.
"Surface is worn, water was never renewed, air's not filtered any more..."
I swallowed my pride.
"Yes, we've damaged our planet."
"You? Nah, that's programmed obsolescence, that is. How much did you pay for her?
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Work
Even a vampire needs work. Late Count Emil Scarlat had found employment as a night guardian at the confidential State archives. He was punctual to the point of obsession, never sleepy, and, since his arrival, no intruders were found in the archives any more.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
@Madagascar_Sky Love this idea!
Madagascar_Sky
@aaribaud This could make for a very fun tv show watch. Nothing really changes over the seasons, it's just the count, his passion for the archives and his utter disinterest in the reasons and machinations of the different intruder teams.
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Gig
Luckily the golem Balor was unable to worry. If it could have worried, it would certainly have had a nervous breakdown from going from one precarious job to another, as its employers never lasted more than a century, and it had had thousands of them.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Platform
"I had received a startup CEO," said the Devil, "whom I had create a contact platform where you express your wish and which selects an available demon to fulfill it. Ah, and I put the president on 24/7 telephone support."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Innovation
For Sorcerers, innovation is coming up with a spell no other Sorcerer has found before, never mind that this spell be inefficient or even redundant.
For Witches, innovation is spreading knowledge of a spell that saves more Mana and helps more people.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Agile
"Noble lord," said the Knight, "I see you are much more agile than we. What secret makes you wear the armour yet be so quick?"
"I am am not quick; you are just slower than me by an order of magnitude," replied R42.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever service
Zombie outbreaks are a service to humankind: they rid it from its most stubborn and least prudent elements, who deny danger or think they can evade it. The prudent and clever ones survive, which enhances the species. For a time.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Management
"Management," said the Devil, "is rampant Up There. Between Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and Angels, no wonder that when the Word of the Creator reaches the mortals, they don't understand any of it."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Transition
"We have found a building. One hundred thousand square meters, probably eight levels. Judging by the materials, it dates back to the transition from apothicene to robocene. We might find useful spare parts there," reported R42.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Startup
"They said you had to think in startup mode, forget the old recipes, invent new ones. In the end, they realized that there was a reason for the old recipes when it came to summoning demons, and that they should have followed them."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Office
He was a workaholic, and had died of overwork. It's happened to many.
His obsessed soul had remained, trying fruitlessly to complete his unfinished work. That's been seen before.
What was unheard of, however, was that his ghost had a ghost office.
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Ecosystem
"When all we had was conventional propulsion, Space was almost entirely made of a sterile void.
"The we discovered -- well, were provided with -- la hypervelocity propulsion, and now the Universe is an ecosystem teeming with lifeforms."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Marketing
"Our marketing services would increase your sales--"
"Mate, you're talking to the ghost crew of the Flying Dutchman. What we do is *drift*. We don't tack nor gybe. We don't need sails."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
Albert ARIBAUD ✎
#writever Reorganization
"A REORGANISATION ?"
"Yes," said the Devil. Your souls, with me: I won't be able to corrupt them. The mortals, with You: You're almighty, You'll manage them. My souls, on Earth: there's no way they'd fare worse than the mortals do."
"… OK."
#english #flashfiction #smallstories #smallstory #tootfic #microfiction
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