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   HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Friday, 23-Jun-2023 14:56:56 JST HebrideanHecate

   https://thecritic.co.uk/enabling-aggression/

   My niece is being bullied. She’s been threatened and abused at school, on social media and even in her own home. Two weeks ago, the bullies screamed obscenities down the phone at her, in earshot of her distraught parents. The ring-leader and her malevolent sidekicks are serial offenders, from disadvantaged backgrounds (by all accounts), and they are on the local area watch list for shoplifting. My brother, her father, is going out of his mind. His daughter is hurting and, as any parent reading this will understand, he is hurting, too. Last week, with the agreement of the school, she didn’t go in at all. She simply couldn’t face the abuse.

   Her abusers, of course, had no such fears, even though they’d admitted to harassing her and to circumventing her desperate attempts to block them on social media by setting up new accounts and continuing to hound her with abusive pictures and hurtful messages. It is terribly cruel, and my niece is both tormented and deeply upset, perhaps unalterably. It is an awful burden for any young child to bear.

   Such aggression is the depressing consequence of society’s refusal to discipline aggressive kids. We can’t keep giving them excuses. We can’t keep blaming their teachers. We must invest children with agency and empower them to take responsibility. That means clear rules, immovable boundaries and, yes, punishments for those who fail to respect them. The Rousseauian orthodoxy that views children as infallible must be repudiated………………………………………………………………………..

   • Embed this notice
     HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Friday, 23-Jun-2023 14:56:55 JST HebrideanHecate

     in reply to

     • The Dread Slender Gnome

     @Gnomeshatecheese Damn right they could.

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     F O T T F S O F A W Y G T F O S M...................... (xzy45@spinster.xyz)'s status on Friday, 23-Jun-2023 14:56:55 JST F O T T F S O F A W Y G T F O S M......................

     in reply to

     • The Dread Slender Gnome
     @HebrideanHecate @Gnomeshatecheese schools/teachers/authorities seem to have much less of an affect on bullies now than in the past. There used to be consequences for the shits that bullied other children, but now the shift is all about letting the bullies be, and instead, sending the child to another class, another school, and then there's bullied women who end up homeless, move house, move to another town, another county, lose everyone, alone, isolated and the bully carries on regardless.
     
     This is such a problem, why are teachers not teaching the bullies, the whole school community about bullying, and why some feel its ok and that it never is. Bring it out into the open. They start young, and bullies need to have their problems addressed younger.
   • Embed this notice
     EmmyNoether (emmynoether@spinster.xyz)'s status on Friday, 23-Jun-2023 14:56:55 JST EmmyNoether

     in reply to

     • The Dread Slender Gnome
     • F O T T F S O F A W Y G T F O S M......................

     @xzy45 @HebrideanHecate @Gnomeshatecheese I’m also of the opinion that the parents of the bullied child could do worse than to send her to a boxing club/ martial arts club for a term, then give her permission to punch the fuckers.

     The parents must also be prepared to stand up to the school when they get arsey about self defence (which they will, because the teachers spend far too much time reading Guardian articles about restorative justice, aka, letting feral children run wild with no consequences).

     My parents explained to me when I was young that the only language bullies truly understand is physical retaliation. But also to accept that you yourself may well get hurt in the process - the point is not necessarily to win the fight, but to inflict enough pain on them in the process that they decide you’re not worth the effort.

     I am not a “turn the other cheek” kind of woman.

     Seahorses are horses likes this.
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     The Dread Slender Gnome (gnomeshatecheese@spinster.xyz)'s status on Friday, 23-Jun-2023 14:56:56 JST The Dread Slender Gnome

     in reply to

     @HebrideanHecate I have quite severe opinions on this.
     Any child that’s old enough to go to school, is old enough to know better and to control their behaviour. And if they are actually unable to control themselves, they should not be in school. Or at least not in a normal school.

     I also can’t help thinking that parents who play by the rules are not going to succeed in protecting their kids, as long as things go on like this. I’m not suggesting breaking the kneecaps of the bullies, but they clearly could do with someone putting some fear in their hearts.