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smugumin (smugumin@bae.st)'s status on Monday, 29-Aug-2022 21:02:54 JST

smugumin

in reply to

yeah it makes no sense specially when in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans. Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white.

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Tamamo (tamamo@varishangout.net)'s status on Monday, 29-Aug-2022 21:02:55 JST

Tamamo

in reply to

@Azur_Fenix @Halo @Shouchou @smugumin God fucking damn it, what's with all the Gardevoir obsessed people? When I was in high school, I had a roomate. Dude was fat, smelly, and obsessed with Gardevoir. He had Gardevoir T-shirts, Gardevoir posters, a Gardevoir plushie, and I swear to God, he had a Gardevoir Japanese fuck pillow. Every fucking conversation we had, he turned it into Gardervoir conversation. I wanted to punch him so bad, but I couldn't. I got anger issues, and just one fuck up could get me out of school. But I swear to God, sometimes I thought it would be a just price for punching that fat motherfucker in the face. I kept finding Gardevoir pictures EVERYWHERE. Some of them were covered in cum. Every night I heard him jerking off, and no matter how many times I asked - he did it anyway.

Once he said to me: "Hey Whiskey, we are having Pokémon night this Friday, are you cool with that?" I had an all night videogame LAN party that Friday, so I allowed that, but only if his buddies wouldn't touch any of my stuff. At all.

Long story short - LAN party got cancelled, and I had to go back to my room. My God, what I saw could not be described. Four fat nerds, watching the Pokémon anime, eating Cheetos, and covering everything with orange dust. One of those fatasses wore a fucking Gardevoir suit and another one was smoking. And they were sitting on my bed. That's right, those fuckers were sitting on my goddamn bed, covering it in Cheetos dust, cigarette ash and sweat. They haven't noticed me, because they were too busy watching anime. I was about to scream on top of my lungs and punch them, when Gardevoir appeared on the screen. All four pulled their dicks out in one synchronised movement and started to masturbate. I wish I was making that up. Even today this comes back in my nightmares. I gave my roomate a head concussion, knocked a few teeth out of others, and shattered suit guy's kneecap.Got into serious trouble, but my lawyer pulled my ass out of the fire. I fucking hate Gardevoir.

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Fenix (azur_fenix@varishangout.net)'s status on Monday, 29-Aug-2022 21:03:01 JST