A printed flyer taped to a metal pole outdoors reads “SEEKING NEW POLYCULE MEMBER” in large bold text.
Below, smaller text explains they recently had a “defector” and are looking for a replacement. A section titled “A bit about us” describes a “fun-loving, diverse, ragtag bunch of lover people” who enjoy walking in formation, sharing meals family-style, and watching romantic comedies together on an oversized couch.
A “Needs” section lists requirements: the person must live on-site and pay about $1,570/month including utilities, commit exclusively to the group, be open to all members regardless of gender, and fall within a preferred height range of 5’5” to 5’10” for “practical positioning reasons.”
At the bottom is a TinyURL link to apply, with a note that it must be typed manually since it’s printed. The background shows a sidewalk and building entrance slightly out of focus.
First off, I want the tea from the “defector”. Why did they defect? They must have a story.
But also, why is rent $1,570? If everyone’s contributing the same amount, that comes to $10,990. If they’re not in a mansion, there’s a hustle going on.
The fact they make you fill out an application—that’s just stressful. Sex ain’t worth it if it’s a job interview. In fact, there’s nothing less sexy than filling out forms.
Chris Trottier
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