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There are 3 servers I recommend: Snikket, Prosody, and Ejabberd.

@ejabberd is better scalable from what I hear from admins that changed from @prosodyim, some claim #Prosody is easier to configure, I never used it so I can’t tell.

@snikket_im is made with the intent to be easy to deploy and from what I read it seems pretty straight forward.
IIRC #Snikket and #Prosody are from the same dev, which is a very skilled developer. All 3 servers are great, but depends on your use and expertise.

I myself use #Ejabberd (which is made by @ProcessOne) and can’t complain, it is REALLY LIGHT in resource consumption and pretty robust while offering all the XEPs that are mostly used (XEPs are extensions of the protocol, I think we could call them features).

I looked into your profile and I see you are Software Engineer so my recomendation is #Ejabberd. You only have to configure a single YAML and you are all set. The documentation is really good and their team answer fast in their github discussions page. Some are even here in mastodon.

Also I recommend the @joinjabber website for reference and tutorials: https://joinjabber.org

For clients I recommend #Cheogram on android.
XMPP software/Cheogram
And if you need it on Google Playstore, @monocles.
XMPP software/Monocles

Cheogram and #Monocles are pretty much the same feature-wise, I like cheogram design better but you do you.

For PC/Linux I recommend @gajim first. (I never used it in windows but in Linux it is awesome.), and then @dino if you like Gnome philosophy. In my experience #Dino_IM works better for calls.

For web with support to Omemo (encryption XEP/feature, based on signal) I know only of @jcbrand
Website: https://conversejs.org/

By now you realize I could mention all projects here in the #fediverse, that’s a thing I like about #XMPP projects, they are all committed to this open federated web, you know?

If you have any questions feel free to ask. I feel like I might be forgetting something, but when it is related to XMPP I get very excited lol.

If you want to read more: https://xmpp.org/

PS: by the way, there is this awesome project called @prav they are an XMPP server that allow people to sign in with their phone number (like signal/WA) so if you have any friends that are a bit lazy to create an account the traditional way (choosing a server, filling a form…) they can just download #prav and start using it with their phone number. https://xmpp.org/software/prav/

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