Notices by Patrick 🌎 (patrickworld@mastodon.online)

@schratze Had to take mine back out to post this! 🚽

Guys. Sunscreen 🤷🏾♂️

People don’t really talk about this but the second rule of fight club is no outside food

Ok but to be fair that sounds *exactly* like something a protest singer might say 🤔

I was buying some socks today, and a lady came over while I was looking at them and said ‘can I help you?’ So I said ‘yeah, are these good, for feet?’ I really couldn’t think of any other sock related questions tbh

👊🇺🇸🔥

I wanna post some bank info. Are we currently clean on OPSEC?

Back in the office tomorrow

From reddit: A scene from Don't Look Up, and an image from yesterday's cabinet meeting. The only difference is Meryl Streep was awake 💅🏾

‘gOoD mORnINg’

Me, dressing for the job I want

(Secretary of Housing and Urban Development)

I can't explain how much I want a vintage Six Million Dollar Man toy 🥹

I dunno this sounds like a slur 🤷🏾♂️

Man, I just wish my dad lived long enough to hear white guys telling each other to go back to Africa

Fine, one more day in the office before Christmas

Me, on my way into the office

‘GET THE PACKAGE OUT OF THE GARBAGE AND TELL ME WHAT THE INSTRUCTIONS SAY’

Bob Newhart, recipient of the worlds first successful heart transplant

Some personal news. I am announcing my retirement from professional tennis. This is particularly hard as I've never played professional tennis, the most I've done is knock a few balls around at the court near my house. Regardless, I finish my career with 0 Grand Slams including 0 French Open titles.

Made my son (14) avocado toast as he was getting ready for school. He said ‘djfjejdi jdjdjs’, I said ‘what?’ So he said it again ‘hdjsjfkd ksjdjdb’ I said ‘what?’ again, and then he said ‘balsamic vinegar’ 🥑