Notices by Uncle Duke (uncleduke1969@universeodon.com), page 2

“Mom is right,” thought Leonard, exhaling a deep sigh, “I really do need to start making better decisions.”

Bravo, anonymous hero.

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."

"What's the lesson here, guys?"
"We don’t know.”
"C’mon, think about it."
"Don't be assholes?"
"Don’t be assholes. Especially to…”
"To the guy with the thumbs?"
"To the guy with the thumbs."

what the green flag means at a NASCAR race

Possibly the most frightening talent of the brown bear is an uncanny ability to blend seamlessly into the environment in an almost chameleon-like manner, allowing them to easily surprise their unsuspecting prey.

“Bambi? Yeah, I know Bambi. Great guy. Fuckin’ shame what happened to his mom. Crap, I’m sorry. You can bleep that out, right?”

They met on the bridge.
It was love at first sight.
He was an American.
She was a Pole.

Nervously, I close the bag. “No way,” I tell myself. “It’s not like she’s gonna count the fries.” I start to sweat.

choose your platform

the idea of being visited by aliens lost its appeal when i realized they’d likely just be some other planet’s asshole billionaires

genies think they can just fucking park anywhere they want

they’re just begging for a car chase

so do i honk the horn or just wait?

yet another student using CatGPT to do their schoolwork

Phantom of the Opurra

It’s-a me, Patio!

“Oh Christ, Loretta…”

first milk goes bad then it turns evil

To know your enemy, you must become your enemy.