Notices by MostlyHarmless (mostlyharmless@thecanadian.social)

I mix my Tide Pods with Red Bull so I get the benefit of clean energy.

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions. Like, "Whose blood is this?", and "Where did you get it?"

Elon gets a lot of hate. But it's not enough. We can do better.

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

In another ten years "My car is manual" will mean it has a steering wheel.

If you’re feeling down, why not just go for a run? You’ll quickly realize your physical health is way worse than your mental health.

But first, tacos.

Javascript is when your doctor writes you a prescription for more coffee. Everyone knows that.

The real reason Trump is putting tariffs on Canada.

Why are clothes so expensive? It should not cost this much to not be naked. In fact people should be paying me to not be naked.

Was once confronted by Dwayne Johnson in front of a Hallmark store. There I was, caught between The Rock and a card place.

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but badgers never get sucked into jet engines.

They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day and then just re-release the original.

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

One time I typed “LOL” when I didn’t actually laugh out loud. Wow, it feels so good to admit that. I was sick of living a lie.

The only reasonable way to handle a cracked windshield.

If we learned anything from the Spice Girls, it's that women - even when given the chance to tell us what they want, what they really really want - will still often say nonsense.

Not at all impressed with the new candy machine at work. 0 of 10, tastes awful.

Thrilling chase underway.

Church humour