Notices by MostlyHarmless (mostlyharmless@thecanadian.social)

Can we just admit we may have taken this ‘anybody can grow up to be President’ thing a bit too far?

This is what nerdy wants to be when it grows up.

Well, do you?

A good percentage of my friends are Nazis. That percentage is zero; that’s a good percentage of Nazi friends to have.

Nervous about flying? Don't be. As long as the 2.3 million parts in this Boeing 777 work in perfect unison while hurtling at 950 kilometres per hour through a stratospheric vacuum 12 km above the Atlantic Ocean with titanium blades making 400 rotations per second in temperatures of -55°, I’ll be absolutely fine.

Is anyone else getting weird texts from someone named Pete with a bunch of “nuclear codes”? Seems like a scam.

If Tesla dealerships would just rake their lots they wouldn't have so many fires.

I mix my Tide Pods with Red Bull so I get the benefit of clean energy.

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions. Like, "Whose blood is this?", and "Where did you get it?"

Elon gets a lot of hate. But it's not enough. We can do better.

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

In another ten years "My car is manual" will mean it has a steering wheel.

If you’re feeling down, why not just go for a run? You’ll quickly realize your physical health is way worse than your mental health.

But first, tacos.

Javascript is when your doctor writes you a prescription for more coffee. Everyone knows that.

The real reason Trump is putting tariffs on Canada.

Why are clothes so expensive? It should not cost this much to not be naked. In fact people should be paying me to not be naked.

Was once confronted by Dwayne Johnson in front of a Hallmark store. There I was, caught between The Rock and a card place.

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but badgers never get sucked into jet engines.

They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day and then just re-release the original.