Notices by MostlyHarmless (mostlyharmless@thecanadian.social)

Church humour

Next time give me something a bit harder.

You think you’re pretty smart until the day you have to turn on someone else’s shower.

Adulthood is realizing that the only reward the best coal shoveller gets is a bigger shovel.

BREAKING NEWS - Canada Announces Their Wall is Done

No, I’m not “done sleeping.” In fact, I will never be done sleeping; I’m merely taking a break in order to earn money so that I may keep my bed in its current, climate-controlled location.

Emo printer.

Engineer: Okay, it burns the toast if you set it to 4
Chief engineer: Perfect, make it go up to 12.

It's some sort of anarchist plot...

Jeff Goldblum seems like a totally chill and cool guy, but if you told me he owned a table made out of human bones I wouldn’t question it.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy I can't even close my suitcase.

Becoming an adult feels like slowly being put into a managerial position you didn't really want.

Is it just me or does buying a Tesla in 2024/25 feel like buying a Mercedes in 1936?

Seven swans to rule them all
Six geese to find them.
Five rings to bring them all,
And in the pear tree
Bind them.

Getting real tired of babysitting my dad’s grandkid.

This is the box where I keep all my old memories.

From what I’ve heard, there are actually people whose paycheques last all the way to the next paycheque! I know! I didn’t believe it either.

Mechanically impossible yet highly accurate.

70% of our planet is covered in water; the other 30% is covered in idiots.

Once you get your PhD every meeting is a doctor’s appointment.