Notices by MostlyHarmless (mostlyharmless@thecanadian.social)

Spare tires + spray paint = revenge on nosy neighbours.

Can’t stop wondering about people that first ate mushrooms they found and just had to go through trial and error. “This one tastes like beef, this one killed Brian immediately and this one traps you in the Mirror Dimension for a week.”

I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.

I have to stop saying “How stupid can you be?” I think people are taking it as a challenge.

Faced by rising AI dominance from China, America announces it is ready to launch cyber attacks of its own. They've developed code that can completely crash any computer; the name of this secretive project is “Microsoft Windows”.

I was late for my first Fight Club last night so I missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I’d highly recommend Fight Club.

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

Can we just admit we may have taken this ‘anybody can grow up to be President’ thing a bit too far?

This is what nerdy wants to be when it grows up.

Well, do you?

A good percentage of my friends are Nazis. That percentage is zero; that’s a good percentage of Nazi friends to have.

Nervous about flying? Don't be. As long as the 2.3 million parts in this Boeing 777 work in perfect unison while hurtling at 950 kilometres per hour through a stratospheric vacuum 12 km above the Atlantic Ocean with titanium blades making 400 rotations per second in temperatures of -55°, I’ll be absolutely fine.

Is anyone else getting weird texts from someone named Pete with a bunch of “nuclear codes”? Seems like a scam.

If Tesla dealerships would just rake their lots they wouldn't have so many fires.

I mix my Tide Pods with Red Bull so I get the benefit of clean energy.

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions. Like, "Whose blood is this?", and "Where did you get it?"

Elon gets a lot of hate. But it's not enough. We can do better.

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

In another ten years "My car is manual" will mean it has a steering wheel.

If you’re feeling down, why not just go for a run? You’ll quickly realize your physical health is way worse than your mental health.