Notices by MostlyHarmless (mostlyharmless@thecanadian.social), page 2

Is it really too much to ask for at least a despot with flair? Someone who plays the lyre or enjoys appointing horses to the Supreme Court?

My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Anyone else find it odd that when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?

Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.

Just a reminder to always check your kids' Halloween candy.

When your kid wants to be a Transformer for Halloween.

Society: be yourself
Society: no not like that

The cops and soldiers wearing the Punisher logo are exactly the people the Punisher would hunt.

Just used the self-checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.

Oil companies just don't advertise like they used to.

My, watching any Marvel movie after End Game: “Wait, so society is just expected to carry on as if this insane collective trauma never happened? That’s ridiculous.”
Me in 2024: “Oh.”

My son proposed to his fiancée about six months ago and she said yes. They're super happy and we love her family too. I just found out today that another girl is in love with him and plans to propose next week; should I say anything? Oh and also, he's 4. They're all 4.

I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

They're not just voices in my head. They're my team of writers.

Some people say I'm a dreamer. Others say, "If you fall asleep at work again we're going to have to let you go."

Please stop acting like rich people don't need to work hard to get into college through legacy admissions. Sometimes they have to type "my dad went here" into an online form. Sometimes they need to write "my dad went here" on a piece of paper. Some of these poor souls might even build up the courage to ask their dad to call the school on their behalf. We are all fighting our own battles.

Sure, you're goth, but are you dejectedly riding the subway with your raven goth?

Terrible night. Dreamed something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn't working.

Important safety tip: if you ever come across a pool of your own blood, whatever you do, do not lie down in it. A lot of people are found murdered that way.

"When one door closes, another opens", he said.
"That's all well and good", I replied, "but until you fix it I'm not buying the car."