There is absolutely a non-zero number of LinkedIn thought leaders that would autofellaciate to their nightly wet-dream of AI causing 90% unemployment if they had the physical capability to do so

Wealthy New Yorkers will be about fleeing to Florida until the first hurricane hits and their property insurance spikes and they run to Texas..

..until the power grid shits the bed for 3 days straight and they run off to Tennessee..

..whose idea of infrastructure is just sign that says "LULZ"

During extended periods of heat, please set your home's AC to 78F/25.5C degrees or higher to avoid rolling blackouts and ensure your local crypto degen has enough energy to properly cool his server farm to continue mining at "kill an entire forest daily" capacity 24/7

The absolute dumbest people on Facebook I wouldn't trust to boil water have suddenly become experts on foreign affairs... again ...

Thank the baby jebus some people can't live forever....

If the last few days have taught me anything about Bluesky, it's that people with no profile picture are usually very, very angry and the majority of them have really poor takes

Guess who low key snuck a $1.25 Starscream Transformer toy into the Dollar Tree basket right under the wife's nose without getting caught while buying supplies to help move his adult daughter into a new home?

Debbie Harry doesn't get the historical credit she deserves.. that chick rocks my dudes...

My son works at a really good non-autehntic Mexican restaurant, which means we get half off food... and my wife and I just engorged ourselves on an amount of food that would be illegal to consume in 14 of the Continental United States

It's a real shame when someone you love prioritizes their most toxic relationship over everything and everyone else in their life and, when said relationship ends, they can't understand why things can't just "snap back to the way they used to be"

New "job I left 2 weeks ago" update:

My code was "too complicated" for the team because the code is modularized/abstracted instead of their usual "brain dump spaghetti code" so they hired another contractor already and moved my process to another subdepartment that has more refined coding practices

Being one generation removed from the south Appalachia and having a living elderly father, I can't tell you how many of his sentences to me have ended something like "...and that boy can flat out play that 5 string..."

Put in a bid on a home yesterday.. a bit over market price and my gut is telling me it's not enough to win but shit I'm not made of money... Now we wait .. 😬

When you reach into your Taco Bell Hot Sauce stash and pull out a ketchup pack because SOMEONE in your family obviously has zero concept of the levels involved in the pre-packaged restaurant condiment game and just lumps them all together like a damn animal

Mentioned here my job was still putting new mission critical stuff on my plate after I have notice

Took <4 work days after my last day before they reached back out to me

I gave em a bit of free advice but I have a feeling I'll be moonlighting there again for a short spell at a much higher salary 😂

Aspire to have the same confidence in yourself that old white guys and tech bros on LinkedIn have but do so without all the pesky assholery they tend to exude

Flexing my hunting-and-gathering skills to my wife at the Mexican restaurant tonight by flagging down the waiter to secure us a second salsa

Dear random person my elderly parents know :

The only reason I have a Facebook account at this point is to keep track of which of my relatives and neighbors have lost their mind to cable news media+internet brain rot; I'm more likely eat worms than accept your friend request

Signed,

Bubs Meany

If you turn your phone's camera on a selfie-mode and say Nancy Maces name 3 times into it while sitting on the shitter she'll reach up through the toilet and give your genitals a confirmation tug

Guy I used to work with that was a top shelf worker was having family issues and his performance indeed suffered but he was still above dept average

Instead of offering him time to rejuice or schedule adjustment they PIPed him

Ultimately they fired him anyway

Don't trust corporate America.. ever