Notices by elle (ellegray@mstdn.social), page 3

billionaire should have more letters than millionaire. I bet billionaires sulk about this

the state of journalism, 2024

discount brand halloween costume lol 🖤🤍🖤

You can tell me, if you really must, that this diet coke isn't "hydration." But if the ice cubes melt, it counts. That's a water

Happy Labor Day 🙂

writer: "she quickly dragged a brush through her curly, thick hair"

me: she absolutely did not

and in a shocking turn of events, a Canadian athlete has been awarded "Nicest Olympian"

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/halifax-gymnast-ellie-black-wins-olympic-fair-play-award-1.7306953

mon dieu, c'est une pipe

omg what if all those Kennedy deaths were time travelers trying to get RFK jr

Friday affirmation: I will not be made to honor plans created earlier in the week when I was still young and full of hope

One thing I love about Mexico is how they have wild chihuahuas to terrorize you instead of crows

the moment you realize you'll be dealing with DC traffic for the next 4 years

ok now it's gone too far

not saying I'm a prophet or anything but stuff like this happens to me all the time

why?!! 😄

me: *doctor says I have to find a hobby and relax so I get a hummingbird feeder*

me, two weeks later: *it's day 3 of a full on military exercise defending my new pals from aggressive wasps, wielding this thing like a flamethrower, and muttering "Yippee-Ki-Yay motherfuckers"*

look I've driven in LA and there's no way it can handle Olympic traffic. I spent 4 hours motionless on a freeway once because of ONE football game. Half the athletes will miss their events. Smog will kill the smaller ones. Entire teams will arrive at LAX, rent a van, and never be heard from again

sry can't. busy putting "Suspiciously majestic" into every bio I have

there is going to be so much ketchup on the mar-a-lago walls this morning

yeah because brown squirrels drive like goddamn lunatics and somebody has to care about the children