Notices by Ben Zanin (gnomon@mastodon.social), page 4

If these two divers suddenly see a blond haired lady in a fun fur bikini hiding giant pearls in improbable bivalve shells, we can confirm that this Bog is indeed Beyond Atlantis

#monsterdon

MONSTER CHOMP one cyclist down :( :( :(

At least it was a horrifying bog monster from beyond the horizon of time and not a pickup truck

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"Every time I look out at those bogs, at those glacial lakes [...]" literally the opposite of each other there doc

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"It should be hungry by now..."

Why?? It has been Kirby'ing the blood out of people literally all day!!

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Is the bogmonster a giant crayfish??

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MONSTER CHOMP

Alas, down goes Neil. And also Neil's diving buddy? I think? Hard to keep track, there is an awful lot of non-specific bogchompery happening here tonight.

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"Suppose you let _me_ decide what looks fish-like, hmm?"

buddy you may be an ichthyologist and a last-minute character introduction but you hardly have a monopoly on fish resemblance spotting

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This whole movie was contrived so the filmmakers could hang out for a few weeks in a lovely lakeside cottage, wasn't it

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Oh my goodness gracious, what a majestic rubber suit monster advance-and-flail manoeuvre

They should have sent a poet

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A wild bog monster appears!

Neal used Charge For Nor Apparent Reason.

It's super effective!

At getting Neal CHOMPED

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THAT IS NOT DEAD WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE
AND IN STRANGE AEONS EVEN DEATH MAY DIE

(the dead bog monster isn't dead, it woke up and it's smashing through a door, everyone act surprised)

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Ichthyologist: "Without a DNA test I wouldn't even attempt a postulation."

Subtitle: "Without a DNA test I wouldn't even attempt a (mumbling)"

Oof, subtitler, that was a swing and a miss

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The sheriff is going to detonate a block of RDX in the lake on the premise that it'll kill anything alive in the water, including whatever killed Macweeny and the two women at the beginning of the film, and then he and his deputy are just going to drive away without waiting for the killer creature to float to the surface as they were certain was going to happen!? That just doesn't make sense.

Also chomp chomp chomp, looks like three more folks got bogulated I think

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Did Bog Witch Adrianna just get shopvac'd in mid soliloquy?

MONSTER CHOMP I think

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"We haven't the foggiest idea what thing is, what it looks like, or how to knock it the hell out!"

Come on, "the boggiest idea" was _right there_

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This movie would be better with fewer deeply unpleasant slow motion kissing scenes and more bog monster. And/or bog witch.

Oh for pete's sake can we please cut away from this makeout scene, this is interminable

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Oh man oh man oh man maybe the bog monster _is_ a mosquito, this could be amazing

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Oh thank goodness, the dulcet tones of Pat Hopkins singing "Walk With Me" are now diegetic background music. I was worried we would only hear it during the credits. Relief!

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"What kind of a monster would have a hypodermic needle for a mouth?"

Is... is the bog monster a giant mosquito??

Or a weevil?!?!?

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Did the bog monster just intubate and exsanguinate Wallace Fry? Or did he step on some pine needles?

Heck, I'll chalk it up as another MONSTER CHOMP, might as well be on the safe side.

#monsterdon