Notices by Dgar (dgar@aus.social), page 5

Them: When did you first notice ADHD symptoms?

Me:

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch, it might be me.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

I always feel good after an evening of following randos and boosting intros.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age.

Then I think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty…

Communism jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

If you take a social media sabbatical, don't announce it.

Just make your last post something fun like "I wonder if there's a bear in this cave?"

Got some Velcro shoes to replace my lace-up runners.

I mean, why knot?

Life is short.

Make sure to spend as much time as possible arguing over politics with strangers online.

Bread puns happen when you yeast expect it.

I opened up Mastodon today and all I could smell was weed.

Who is it?

https://ffm.to/dgargettinstoned

#DgarMusic #its420somewhere

It was called the Dark Ages because it was Knight Time!

Roses are red.
Roses are blue.
Depending on their velocity
relative to you.

Is it "For fuck sake" or "For fuck's sake"?

It's for a work e-mail, so it's got to sound professional.

If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN, they become VERY ANGRY.

My Mastodon journey began when I tooted Hello World on November 30, 2022. Since that time I’ve tooted, and I’ve boosted. I’ve met amazing people, and connected with fellow musicians and artists. I’ve shared my interests and my music. I have learned much from the community.

Although 2024 has been liberal with the knocks and blows, I try my best to be thankful for the good things that have happened.

Did you know that some people know the words to my songs? That still blows my mind.

Thank you for following. Really. I mean it. Thank you. I know I don’t reply to every comment, and when I do, it’s often just an emoji, but I value your company, your insights, your come-backs. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. It’s been my privilege.

I never imagined I’d have ten thousand followers.

You humble me.

Thank you.

Thank you for making the Fediverse the friendly and welcoming place that it is. You’re all amazing.

Big love.

Jon

(I’d like to say Tora Tabby says hello, but she’s a cat and couldn’t care less.)

#introduction #Dgar #DgarMusic #DgarLore #ToraTabby

19

Know the difference!

"Orion's Belt is a big waist of space."

Terrible joke.

Only three stars.