Notices by Reticent Turnip (reticentturnip@universeodon.com)

"I AM WORTHY OF LOVE," I screamed at the gumball machine, which had now given me five handfuls of black licorice gum in a row

"Putting up walls" is when you do it. "Setting boundaries" is when I do it.

You can be done and keep going. It explains a lot once you see it in someone.

I enjoy "heavy metal" music. That is to say, I like music with a lot of "lead" guitar! Hahaha! Folks, nothing hits the spot like homophone-based puns

@walruslifestyle A if noun, B if verb, imo tbh ymmv

Giving the mail carrier a handful of parameters and asking him to submit a POST request for me

Urban Dictionary. Or, as we here on the street call it, The Urbz

One odd thing about not displaying our birthdays in our profiles (mostly a good idea) is that no one knows @JoParkerBear has a birthday today and everyone should wish her happy birthday.

Did you know you can hoost their boots on Mastodon? Not the original toobs they poost, just the bosts thet they tout. Moustodon allouws deveral uptions for roogulootimg the flough of informnation that are bousted onto your tought strome

@theropologist I had one and it didn't work right. No problem! Just a defect! Repaired under warranty! I swear it took six months or something.

I like my women like I like my pornography: incredibly long with a lot of unnecessary dialog and very unprofessional lighting

Might fuck around and tweet a simplistic truth which happens to apply to my immediate situation, but frame it as a globally relevant profundity which we should all take into immediate consideration