Notices by rstevens 🐳💨✅ (rstevens@mastodon.social)

sitting comfortably? thank a butt.

today i learned that eagles subsist only on fireworks and hot dog buns. that's why america worships them even though they are bald.

just sat down with a 2019 intel-based macbook for a few minutes. barbaric.

@thomasfuchs @dmd I hope Liquid Glass is replaced by Transparent Aluminum

i’m so old, i remember when computers got cheaper over time

tim cook, i swear to god if i wake up in the morning and that fucking melania movie shows up on my ipod with the U2 album...

someone should invent a chore that is done permanently once you do the chore

i missed out on being a snob about driving only standard transmission cars, but i'm making up for it by not using AI on my computer

I’ve decided to also blame Alan Dye for CompUSA closing and the FineWoven iphone cases that wore out in 45 minutes

1. Star Wars (original)
2. The Phantom Menace
3. Key Lime Pie
4. Empire Strikes Back
5. Little Debbie Nutty Bars
6. The Last Jedi
7. Apple Pan Dowdy (1998 Special Edition)

the navy blue iphone pro is an homage to the ZIP drive

i’m so old, i remember when going on the internet made you smarter.

there should be a special dipping sauce you can order if you’re having a particularly hard day

sorry i never replied to your email, my opsec is just that good

man, even when you buy an election, you’re really just renting it these days. worse than photoshop.

what’s ogging my vorbises?

Don’t betray your younger self. Hold onto that grudge forever.

i was born at the perfect moment to be both soaked with lead AND filled with microplastics.

your move, zoomers.

in a world of micro USBs, be a USB type C

if apple actually wanted people to like them, they'd sell an ipod that did streaming services, regular files, airpods, and maybe notes/wallet. nothing else. ok, maybe photos. but no notifications.