Notices by geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)

Inflation got so bad, “five dollar footlong” just means a loaf of bread

The X-Men are a found family that isn't entirely functional, but they still work to support and love each other and defend against a hostile society. I wonder why so many queer folks identify with this, huh such a mystery

I find it very suspicious that NASA announced finding a bunch of new exoplanets planets right as Americans begin searching for places to flee to

No one has done a better job of marketing socialism than conservatives. Yeah, it's commie when you…don't like racism and people try to treat each other fairly and you don't struggle to get healthcare

“Think globally, act locally” but with assassinations. That comptroller got to go

I would never have sex with my clone, obviously, but time travel duplicates are fair game. But I'll pass if they're from the Good Timeline, they don't know how to do that thing I like

If you don't buy seven copies of my book in which I build the case for why you personally are worthless, that's censorship

Libraries are crucial structures of community stability and the nexus of subversive disruption so jot that down

My weekly meal plan:
-tacos
-something that isn't tacos for the requisite number of days until it's not weird to eat tacos again
-tacos

What ABBA never mentioned is that Dancing Queen is really a figurehead position. All the real power is in the hands of Dancing Parliament.

The best time to open up a time portal to this exact moment in time from 500 years in the future is 500 years from now.
The second best time is now.

My daughter: Why did the pig cross the road?

Me: Why?

Daughter: OK it doesn't have to be a pig.

Me: Ok

Daughter: It could be any farm animal

Me: Ok

Daughter: Anyway they crossed the road cause they were mad Barnes and Noble wasn't a real barn. Also, they were at a Barnes and Noble at the start of the joke

Colonel Sanders' fursona would NOT be a chicken...this is really embarrassing for you. It's safe to say this job interview is over

[complaining about customer service at a glory hole]

"Whose dick do I have to suck to get a dick to suck around here?"

New ager: "Listen to Nature and you'll find the answers to life"

Nature: KILL AND EAT THINGS AND THEN FUCK A LOT

Give a man a fish, he'll smell real bad like fish for a while.
Maybe a good prank? idk

They say birds abandon their young if a person touches them because they can smell people. But that's only true if you're that one coworker of mine spraying axe body spray at the office. Don't touch birds, Gregory

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Give a man a Fishing Rod, he'll use it to get an Empty Bottle which he can store Red Potions in.

I find Jurassic World to be very realistic because people go to Branson no matter how many times the country singers break free of their restraints

Cop shows need to limit the personal story arcs. Your daughter can get kidnapped one time. During sweeps. As a treat.