Notices by Tengrain (tengrain@mastodon.social)

Totally on brand:

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Speaker Pornhub Johnson clearly does not believe in the Commandments... ...because —as I understand it— bearing false witness will send you to perdition on a golden escalator, if you know what I mean and I think you do. And besides, Speaker, you can call the House back anytime... except you don’t want to release the Epstein Pedo-Files.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/10/27/news-that-will-drive-you-to-drink-2371/

RE: https://mastodon.online/@davidaugust/115358895565134132

So cool that 94-year old Rupert Murdoch, 81-year old Larry Ellison, and 79-year old Grandpa Sundowner are going to be controlling #TikTok, the preferred Social Media of the Yutes of Today.

Here’s Some Stupid To Start Your Day

The sun sets early: So you don’t have to hear that voice: Collins: The supreme court rejected the appeal by Ghislaine Maxwell to overturn her conviction. Trump: Who are we talking about? Collins: Ghislaine Maxwell Trump: Haven't heard the name in so long. I’ll take a look at it. I’ll speak to the DOJ. A lot of people have asked me for pardons.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/10/07/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-day-414/

The Battle of Portland

As you’ve probably heard by now, Hair Füror has ordered the military to take over Portland Oregon. As is our old tradition, we present Ken Burns documentary-style letters from the resistance to their loved ones. "My dearest Olive, I write from behind enemy lines in war torn Pioneer Courthouse Square. The single-bean coffee supply is running out, we probably haven’t long before craft cocktails are gone, too.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/09/27/the-battle-of-portland/

Guys, we got the #Rapture totally wrong.

Giant Orange Man Baby Demands Obedience, USTA Obliges

The Cornfield Awaits! OK, so we are at the part of the overthrow of the country where our would-be strongman, presidente-for-life The Orange 🤡, cannot abide anything less than adoration: USTA asks broadcasters to censor reaction to Donald Trump’s attendance at U.S. Open "The United States Tennis Association asked broadcasters of the U.S. Open to censor any protests or reaction to President Donald Trump’s appearance…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/09/07/giant-orange-man-baby-demands-obedience-usta-obliges/

Here’s Some Stupid To Start Your Day

If you want/need a tell (as the gamblers say) that deploying the National Guard to D.C. was a NOT a national emergency to fight out-of-control crime (You know, for when your Facebook Rage Uncle starts in), here it is: They had to brag about their park upkeep prowess to justify their time spent in the Capitol. If only they had found the Epstein Pedo-Files under some leaves or something. Now, no one is saying park maintenance is a bad…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/09/02/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-day-397/

https://bsky.app/profile/mluckovich.bsky.social/post/3lxig5e4skc2j

You Cannot Make Up This

I want to know who decided Gym Jordan should be the House Republican to say that the audio testimony of child-procuring convicted pimp Ghislaine Maxwell proves that there’s nothing to see: Gym’s never heard any evil, even when his wrestlers told him what was happening to them. 

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/08/24/you-cannot-make-up-this/

Here’s Some Stupid To Start Your Day

The Tortilla Curtain. She really said this: Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Nom said the entire southern border wall will be painted black, so it will get hot in the sun and "make it even harder for people to climb." "That is specifically at the request of the president." (from the BirdChan, no link for obvious reasons) Neither of whom apparently never has heard of “Ladders” or “Nighttime” for that matter.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/08/20/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-day-390/

‘Thank You For Your Attention To This Matter’

The entire point of this blog since the beginning is to fight-back against bullies by mocking them. This is what Gavin Newsom is doing this... ...very effectively. As Scissorheads know, spitballing is an art, and hitting the target stuns the spitballee (is too a wurd) because they take themselves so very seriously. (Fair Warning! BirdChan): Bullies do not like mockery.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/08/17/thank-you-for-your-attention-to-this-matter-2/

The Miracle of The Orange 🤡 Economy

It’s not just you. While a majority of Americans indicate that their local cost of living is affordable, this survey from Yahoo Finance and the Marist Poll highlights a challenging financial outlook for many Americans. In fact, 45% of residents nationally believe their cost of living is unaffordable, and a notable one in three report their personal finances have worsened during the past year.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/08/12/the-miracle-of-the-orange-%f0%9f%a4%a1-economy-10/

So, in lieu of Cokie Roberts, where is the outrage that The Orange 🤡 is vacationing in Scotland instead of in the United States?

#BothSides has been going on forever, as has Our Failed Political Press ™.

There’s noting new under the sun.

I gave up on the Sunday Talkies during the reign of Cokie Roberts, who inevitably would respond to any outrage about the Republicans with, “Ah, but the Democrats!...”

I will always remember when she criticized President Obama for vacationing in the foreign land of Hawaii, instead of, oh, Martha’s Vineyard.

So consider the [crickets] on golfing in Scotland, when our First Black President was criticized for going to his home state of Hawaii, “as too foreign.”

There’s one set of rules for Democrats and no rules for GOPers. The Media has made that clear: we cannot even take a vacation without criticism. Republicans get a pass.

Why is JD Vance getting a pass for vacationing in the UK, when then-VP Joe Biden was criticized for going to his own beach house?

@TonyStark

⬆️

“But Hair Füror was supposed to drop the hammer on the BAD immigrants, not on MEEEEEEE!,” he didn’t say.

BREAKING: Class Action Lawsuit Halts The Orange 🤡’s Birthright Citizenship Order

The AP tells us: A federal judge in New Hampshire said Thursday he will certify a class action lawsuit including all children who will be affected by President Donald Trump’s executive order ending birthright citizenship and issue a preliminary injunction blocking it. Judge Joseph LaPlante announced his decision after an hour-long hearing and said a written order will follow. The order…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2025/07/10/breaking-class-action-lawsuit-halts-the-orange-%f0%9f%a4%a1s-birthright-citizenship-order/