Notices by Missing The Point (missingthept@mastodon.social)

Judge: “You stand accused of murder in the first degree. How do you plead?”

“Well, we are all going to die.”

Judge: “Release this man!”

I actually believe that Stephen Miller hits like a five-year old.

Breaking: President Trump unable to write out $52 billion numerically.

Kristi Noem should understand that she may ban international students from attending Harvard but her kids still aren’t getting in.

Noting that “everyone needs to make sacrifices” to help the economy, President Trump pledges to donate half of his bribes to the U.S. Treasury.

Breaking: President Trump promises to end the war between Russia and Ukraine “in 24 hours” upon taking office a third time.

President Trump plans to accept a luxury Boeing 747 from Qatar that he will use as new “Impeachable Offense One.”

Happy Mothra’s Day

Military expert here. All joking aside, Super Hornets only do this when they are under extreme distress. https://www.businessinsider.com/us-navy-aircraft-carrier-red-sea-lost-another-super-hornet-2025-5

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney should be mindful of JD Vance’s admonishment of Zelenskyy and say a big “thank you” to President Trump for his recent election.

Breaking: President Trump's military birthday parade will feature a "Salute to Bone Spurs."

*Me going to the store with my government-issued monthly voucher for two toys, sticking to side streets to avoid an ICE abduction and rendering to a foreign prison or people infected with measles.*

“This is what winning feels like.”

Breaking: United States judiciary awakens to find a horse’s head in its bed.

If you like salmon you’re going to love salmonella. https://apnews.com/article/poultry-salmonella-food-poisoning-usda-081dafd3c8a75c3ef2203d260584a893

Dismayed by a stunning 71% drop in Tesla’s year-over-year profits, Elon Musk says that had they even had a 69% drop “I would have said ‘nice.’” https://wapo.st/3YH4f7K

JD Vance’s handlers: “Well, he really shat the bed with the Zelenskyy meeting and the Ohio State football team photo-op, let’s get him a meeting that even he can’t fuck up, like with the Pope.”

Breaking: The Supreme Court announces that publication of Justice Alito’s dissent in the deportation case will be delayed as it is translated from its original German.

The Accidental Harvard Letter
The Accidental Deportation
The Accidental Tariff on an Uninhabited Island
The Accidental Disclosure of War Plans to a Journalist
The Accidental Firings of Nuclear Safety Workers

Breaking: To skirt due process issues, President Trump signs an executive order announcing that everyone in the United States is now a member of MS-13.

Breaking: Leak of sensitive U.S military information traced to a close advisor of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Jack Daniels.