Notices by grant (grant@godforsaken.website)

yeah dude it's like the alligator of the cave or whatever

THE POWER OF INCREDIBLE VIOLENCE
BY LUIGI

william shatner couldn't find me on mastodon. this was a problem (i had stolen his grandfather's bones and the ransom deadline was fast approaching)

(barely listening) mike tyson is gonna kick the shit outta rand paul

who up swearing oaths to they're worm

actually this is the median consumer

empirically stinky kitten. she walks past the air purifier and it kicks on its highest setting

buffering...

pov you're about to get got

oh it's gonna be like THIS

stinker detected

flora just killed a nefarious bedroom spider!

pov you are awake

biblical

"average cat eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actually just statistical error. average cat eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Flora, who lives under my bed & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

flora thinks it's fucked up that stinky kittens get baths

she is sassy and soft now and smells much better. and also she killed two more spiders tonight

advanced digital re-creation of flora's morning

can't believe we have a cat who pulls her weight

flora has graduated to hassling this WHOLE ASS SLUG that somehow squeezed into the office