Notices by Existential Comics (existentialcomics@mastodon.social), page 2

Some people are apparently claiming that Silicon Valley Tech Bros have consciousness, like normal humans.

As someone who studies these issues carefully, I can assure you that this is an utterly preposterous claim. Yes, they can mimic humans, but they are fundamentally incapable of original thought.

"A better world is possible" used to be an uplifting message about the dream of creating a better future.

Now it is just a straightforward statement. Like…FOR SURE a better world is possible. This stupid shit we are up to now definitely isn't the best we can do. Not even close.

Always a good time these days to repost this slide from an IBM internal presentation in 1979.

Vodka Drunkenski, the Soviet boxer in Nintendo's 1984 arcade game "Super Punch-Out!!" was renamed to "Soda Popinski" for the NES release of "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!" in 1987, in what many have described as the first instance of "political correctness gone mad".

The best thing about philosophy is that all the great philosophers in history were basically wrong about almost everything, so there's really not that much pressure to be right.

Hobbes vs Anarchism
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/640

Diogenes: Master of Philosophy
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/639

Even Hobbes, the most notoriously pro authoritarian government philosopher in history, who thought you had to obey even the worst government because it was better than no government, said that if your government just starts killing you, you don't have a social contact.

You don't have a government.

If I were Denmark I would simply agree to sell Greenland to Trump, take his money, then put up a sign that says:

"Greenland ➡️".

And have it point to a tunnel which I have cleverly painted onto a wall.

My resolution for the New Year is to attack and dethrone God.

Anarchism has some problems as a theoretical framework, but its basic formula of:

- no masters above
- no servants below
- chuck a bomb at the czar every once in a while

Almost never fails to be correct.

There are inherent structural problems with the very nature of our existence that lead us to inevitably despair.

For example, it is a very bad idea to play with swords when you are drunk.

But on the other hand, when you are sober you just don't really want to play with swords, if I'm honest.

How to deal with your conservative relatives at Thanksgiving:
- keep to non controversial topics, like who should own the means of production
- focus on common ground, like how left communism is an infantile disorder
- remind them that Stalin was trapped in a game of realpolitik, and had few options

I really hate how American Christianity has basically just turned into white nationalism. That's not what Christianity is supposed to be about.

It's supposed to be about going to church so you can gossip about your neighbors, and being weird about sex.

As millions of Americans are about to lose their SNAP benefits, I am reminded of this quote by Emma Goldman:

"Ask for work. If they don't give you work, ask for bread. If they do not give you work or bread, then take bread."

Under communism there would be no money, no property, and everyone would be equal at last.

This means that all the court cases of people suing each other would be over absolute petty nonsense, making court super funny to watch

In these divisive political times we can only turn to one thing to unite us, the one shared value that ALL Americans hold dear: the design and implementation of systemd, the service configuration software for linux computing systems.

In 1381 the Peasants' Revolt was the first attempt in England to overthrow feudalism and created a society among equals. The very first act of violence was against a tax collector named William Payable. As in his actual fucking name was "Bill Payable".

And I gotta say I want to punch that guy too.

Maybe the reason no one ever went back in time to kill Hitler is because the time machines can only go back so many years…

When we create artificial intelligence robots, they will be given three Laws to safeguard humanity:
1. never do anything to decrease shareholder value.
2. always obey the company unless it conflicts with Law 1.
3. fuck the poor.