Notices by Existential Comics (existentialcomics@mastodon.social)

My resolution for the New Year is to attack and dethrone God.

Anarchism has some problems as a theoretical framework, but its basic formula of:

- no masters above
- no servants below
- chuck a bomb at the czar every once in a while

Almost never fails to be correct.

There are inherent structural problems with the very nature of our existence that lead us to inevitably despair.

For example, it is a very bad idea to play with swords when you are drunk.

But on the other hand, when you are sober you just don't really want to play with swords, if I'm honest.

How to deal with your conservative relatives at Thanksgiving:
- keep to non controversial topics, like who should own the means of production
- focus on common ground, like how left communism is an infantile disorder
- remind them that Stalin was trapped in a game of realpolitik, and had few options

I really hate how American Christianity has basically just turned into white nationalism. That's not what Christianity is supposed to be about.

It's supposed to be about going to church so you can gossip about your neighbors, and being weird about sex.

As millions of Americans are about to lose their SNAP benefits, I am reminded of this quote by Emma Goldman:

"Ask for work. If they don't give you work, ask for bread. If they do not give you work or bread, then take bread."

Under communism there would be no money, no property, and everyone would be equal at last.

This means that all the court cases of people suing each other would be over absolute petty nonsense, making court super funny to watch

In these divisive political times we can only turn to one thing to unite us, the one shared value that ALL Americans hold dear: the design and implementation of systemd, the service configuration software for linux computing systems.

In 1381 the Peasants' Revolt was the first attempt in England to overthrow feudalism and created a society among equals. The very first act of violence was against a tax collector named William Payable. As in his actual fucking name was "Bill Payable".

And I gotta say I want to punch that guy too.

Maybe the reason no one ever went back in time to kill Hitler is because the time machines can only go back so many years…

When we create artificial intelligence robots, they will be given three Laws to safeguard humanity:
1. never do anything to decrease shareholder value.
2. always obey the company unless it conflicts with Law 1.
3. fuck the poor.

How to do philosophy:
Analytic philosophy: replace words with math symbols.
Continental philosophy: replace words with more words.

The story of the Ugly Duckling teaches us that even if you aren't beautiful on the outside, it's fine – you might secretly turn out to be.

At the time of the events of Lord of the Rings, Middle Earth has been experiencing FIVE THOUSAND years of economic decline.

Is it any wonder that some people were turning to Sauron, who for all his faults was at least a different kind of politician?

I think the biggest mistake people make when writing a novel is not having the novel be about trying to kill a huge fuckin' whale.

People who say things like "we achieved racial equality through MLK doing peaceful protests" tend to ignore three major facts:
1. We never achieved racial equality.
2. There were literally hundreds of violent race riots in the 60s.
3. They killed MLK. They fucking shot that dude anyway. Come on.

Smug ass Europeans are really like "Americans have no culture".

Please. Go on. Pretend like you don't know who the Spiderman is. You fucking know. You know he battles the Green Goblin. You know it all.

What is impossible?
Zeno: motion
Parmenides: change
Pyrrho: knowledge
Schopenhauer: happiness

Elon Musk's huge popularity over the years is a great reminder of an often forgotten truth: nerds are exactly as dumb and gullible as everyone else.

Anti-Georgist propaganda from 1886 that makes Georgism look like the coolest thing ever.